Tag Archives: women

Beauty

Phat Girls II: 50 Curvy Women Breaking Boundaries

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In case you haven't noticed, curvy women are taking over the world. Now society has taught us that thin = beautiful, but my readers have proved this beauty myth false by making my original Phat Girls list, my most popular post ever. So I've compiled here, for my cushion lovin' readers, a list that displays the diverse beauty that Phat Girls encompass. The original post celebrated 25 voluptuous women in Hollywood, well now I'm doubling down with 50 full-beautied actresses, models, musicians, comedians and showrunners. I give you, Phat Girls II!
Politics

10 Things to Say to Men Who Tell You to Smile

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Stop telling Hillary Clinton to smile!

Why are these male pundits telling Hillary Clinton to shout less and smile more?

Posted by Fusion on Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Since Hillary has been a front-runner for the Democratic Nomination there have been lots of news covering her that, well, doesn’t really have anything to do with politics as much as it has to do with her being a woman in politics. What happened with her recent victory has been noted in the video above and shared over a number of news sources. But what’s happening to HRC goes beyond just her, it speaks to a “cat-calling” culture that has embedded itself across the world in various forms. Being a woman and being told to smile happens constantly, across the country, and as a woman in New York, the city of resting bitch face, it happens to me constantly. Now you can always choose to ignore a cat-caller by remaining silent, however if you find yourself particularly annoyed with rubbing Vaseline on your front teeth to keep your lips from covering your sexy teeth, here are 10 things you can say to a man who’s telling you to smile:
  1. Say, "Tell me a joke: [insert insult here] funny man, clown, jackass, ect..."
  2. Start smiling like an insane person, extra points if you can start drooling from the side of your mouth.
  3. Say, "That's what I told your mom after I went down on her."
  4. Growl and start chomping in his direction.
  5. Say, "You're right I just killed my husband, I should be happy!"
  6. Say, "You would be much more handsome if you didn't speak."
  7. Bite into a blood capsule you have stashed at all times and then give them a bloody grin.
  8. Start crying and say, you're dog/mom/dad just died, you lost your job, you got diagnosed with VD, ect...
  9. Say, "I'm being like Posh Spice, because smiling gives you wrinkles and no man wants a prune face after all, so I just got angry-face Botox and now I'm stuck like this. Who's your favorite Spice Girl?!"
  10. Do as Abby and Ilana do...
Beauty, Cookies, From Scratch, Literature, Music, Sex

COSMO: What I Learned In May 2011

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It must be that time of the month again! My May issue of Cosmopolitan, staring Paramore's Hayley Williams, came in the mail! And as per our agreement, I've thumbed through the countless ads for self-tanner and diet pills to find the very best, this month's issue has to offer! And as per our agreement, you shall read what I have to say. Now go! READ IT! Hayley Williams: Corn Dog of Revenge pg. 46-49 The Rubber-Band Effect pg. 144-147 I Have Orgasms All Day Long pg. 214-215 Sex Moves His Ex Didn't Do pg. 141-143 How Guys Really Feel About Your BO pg. 82 Decode His Texts pg. 256 May Look Book Check out full scans of Hayley's boring interview.
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Beauty, Cookies, Film & TV, From Scratch, Literature, Sex

COSMO: What I Learned In April 2011

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What, can I say? It's been a while. It seems while one of my original From Scratch monthly posts recapping the cockamamie advice of one Cosmopolitan Magazine has been good to me with a plentitude of hits, I have not been very good to it, throwing it to the wayside in exchange for copious amounts of Ke$ha posts. Well I'm sorry, to the Cosmo rag and RadCooks faithfuls alike. I was doing all over you, myself included, a disservice of massive proportions. But don't fret, my duties to the Sex Bible will no longer go untended. What's the change in attitude, say you? Well dear internet-mongers, it's Lent, and as a terrible Catholic and one who's never kept a Lent Resolution (what do you call what you give up for 40 days?) I've decided to turn over a new leaf. I'm not giving anything up this Lent, because that would be counter-productive, instead I'm going to do something. And what shall I do, you ask? I'm going to do reading! It's really quite shameful, I'm a writer, in and out, I write for fun, I write for leisure, I write for pay, I write because I'm always right but I don't read. So I'm going to, at least for the next 40 days (hopefully.) Today I'm reading Cosmo's April edition, cover to cover, even the monthly rape article. I know what you're thinking, Cosmo isn't real reading, well to you I say, baby steps, my friend. Tomorrow I'm hitting Freud's "Three Contributions To The Theory of Sex," but tonight, tonight I read about PC muscles and mildly kinky sex! Without further ado, here's your Cosmo Recap for April 2011 starring Tron: Legacy's Olivia Wilde! Cosmo Cover Girl: Olivia Wilde pg. 48-51 Birth Control Break Down: Why Your Method Sucks, Plus A NEW Condom & Morning After Pill! pg. 162-165 The Sexy Side Of Ovulation pg. 158-159 A Three-Step Guide To The Full Body Orgasm pg. 134 101 Things About Men: ORLY?! pg. 70-73 MacGyver Beauty Tips pg. 203-207 Your Hair Might Look Good, But It Can Also Give You Cancer! pg. 176 Read Olivia Wilde's full article below!
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Art, Film & TV, Sex Ed

RadFem To Watch: Jaclyn Santos

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While living on my friend's futon he had me watch a new Bravo show called Work of Art, which is much like any other Bravo show, in that it's an elimination based, competition style show for something hipstery. The cast of characters on the show is pretty interesting, you've got your lesbian who undresses the hot, angsty straight girl with her eyes, the adorable gay guy who paints auto-follatio (and misspells it), you've got the crazy insomniac, OCD psycho-pants who ejaculates on his art and then you've got the rail-thin, beauty, radical feminist painter known as Jaclyn Santos. Jaclyn's work is RadFem worthy in the fact that she exploits the female form and manipulates body composure and expression to make a statement about the female experience. In the latest episode of Work of Art the artists were asked to create something shocking. Jaclyn immediately stripped down and took some nudey MySpace style pics and created an interactive tryptic that allowed the audience to draw on and deface her photographs. She's a firecracker and now a personal heroin of Radioactive Cookies. Here are a few of her pieces, check out her website for more!
Beauty, Literature, Music, Science, Sex Ed

COSMO: What I Learned In July 2010

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Here's the long-awaited Cosmo recap for July featuring the stunning, pasties flaunting Shakira. Click the links below to be Cosmo'd! Shakira: Almost A Puff Piece - Pg 22-26
Colombian babies didn't wear shoes and resorted to "sniffing glue so they could forget how hungry they were." (Direct quote)
Cosmetic Vaginal Procedures - Pg 159-161
"Husbands love the peekaboo look" referring the absence of labia minora.
The Complete User's Guide To His Testicles - Pg 112-115
The seam running down the underside of his penis is right on line with the seem on his boys. This spot is uber sensitive and when touched the right way can send his orgasm over the top.
15 Surprising Sex Facts - Pg 105-107
Women with higher levels of oestradiol cheat more often.
Plan B Questions Answered - Pg 156
You can take it up to 72 hours after a lack of or failed contraceptives.
6 Ways To Better Sex - Pg 122
Stop sucking in that tummy when you're doing the dirty. If you do, it restricts breathing, which makes orgasming harder.
Trends For July
Hottest Trend: The Snooki - The munchkin look might be out, but bouffants are very in.
See gallery below for full scans of the Shakira article.
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Beauty, Literature, Music, Science, Sex Ed

COSMO: What I Learned In June 2010

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Here we are again. Another month, another issue of Cosmopolitan, complete with the latest groundbreaking innovations in sex, fashion and everything female. The June issue features Pink in a Iron Man inspired frock. Since it's Spring Time I've decided to add a new featured column to my monthly Cosmo recaps, look for Trends by month! And a 1, 2, 3 and away we go! Click the links below to be Cosmoed! Pink Is A Badass - Pg 46-51
I'm sure her therapist will point out that her parents' turbulent relationship resulted in much of her own problems with her on again, off again husband.
Sex Tips From Guys - Pg 132-135
The Catcher - Ride him, planting your feet on the bed and use his hands as leverage to rock back and forth. This variation will give you more mobility and thrust!
Questions For Your Gyno - Pg 192-195
Can I use yogurt to treat a yeast infection?
The Immaculate Orgasm - Pg 204
Seriously, this is an article in Cosmo, with the cover that boasts, "Orgasm Guaranteed." The guarantee? That you can think you can, think you can you're way to the big O.
What To Change So A Man Will Want You - Pg136-139
He's stressed, we know, so Cosmo suggests putting your feelings on the back burner and being his shoulder to not cry on.
Tall Men vs. Short Men - Pg 81
Tall Men are... Rich - According to Cosmo, "a study" [again with the hard-hitting facts] said for every inch [above "what" we don't know] increases your salary by about $789 a year.
*NEW* Trends For June
Hottest Trend: White on White
See gallery below for full scans of Pink's interview!
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Beauty, Sex Ed

HAPPY MILF DAY: 40 Hot Hollywood Moms

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Happy Mother's Day! I hope you all remembered! I hope if you forgot you're not looking at this! YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO BE DOING.. LIKE BUYING YOUR MOTHER A PRESENT FOR LETTING YOU BREATHE AIR! Yeah, I'm sure she gave you a complex too... Well there's nothing I can do about that now. STOP TALKING BACK! I'm gonna be a great mom! Anyway... I would like to dedicate this post to my mother, a wonderful, caring, beautiful and smart woman! Now here, look at a bunch of exploitative pictures of celebrities who also happen to be mothers! Honorable mention, Nadya Suleman aka Octomom invites you in! Get Ready for some baby-weight-hiding-nude-on-the-bed-with-a-white-sheet-carefully-carving-out-my-curves photo shoots! NSFW Continue reading HAPPY MILF DAY: 40 Hot Hollywood Moms →
Film & TV, Music, Sex Ed

CHRISTINA AGUILERA’S “NOT MYSELF TONIGHT”: A Lesson In Radical Feminism

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Cover art for Aguilera's upcoming album, Bionic.
Okay kids this is an educational post so Miss Bleecker is going to use her impending college degree to do a super, special, fancy post. Get ready to get schooled! Smarty pants language starting in... 3... 2... There is a strongly held belief that to be a radical feminist one must contradict all traditional aspects of feminitiy. In the Bleecker's opinion, the strongest feminist embraces her femininity. If you know mah homegirl Christina Aguilera, you know she feels the same way. There's been a lot of controversy surrounding the release of Christina Aguilera's latest music video, Not Myself Tonight. The main arguments involving the video are: that Aguilera is selling her sexuality for shock value and that Aguilera is copying other female artists. Both of these statements are true, but not for the reasons the online media explains them to be. Introduction: Aguilera's Feminist Manifesto Chapter 1: Aguilera's Music Video Anthology Chapter 2: Analysis Of The Not Myself Tonight Lyrics Chapter 3: Madonna: Holding Out vs. Putting Out Chapter 4: Freedom 90: Musical Bondage & Breaking Free Chapter 5: Sex and the City: When Is Sexuality Acceptable? Chapter 6: Beyonce: Getting Out Of Relationships Chapter 7: Lady Gaga: The Line Between Benefits & Heartbreak Conclusion: Getting The Mixed Message If you haven't seen the video don't even bother reading this post. But you really should watch the video. Probably the uncensored version too.
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Beauty, Literature, Sex Ed

COSMO: What I Learned In May 2010

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I know, I know. It's almost fucking May and we haven't gotten our fix of monthly What I Learned from Cosmo. It's not my fault. My mother hid my magazine. She seems to keep the faith that my excessive use of the word "fuck" combined with my unabashed dialogue about well... you know, is unbecoming of a lady. Quite possible, but I'm going to do it anyway. I love you mom! (She's really not that old-fashioned, it's just a little game we like to play... or is it?!) Enough with the non sequiturs, here's what you've all been waiting for... my May recap of Cosmo: The Sexy Issue starring Heidi Klum (is she even still relevant? I mean her show's on Lifetime!) Heidi Klum: Why The Fuck Does She Get Everything?! - pg 37
The only thing that sparked a bit of interest was when the writer briefly talked about Klum's relationship with Italian businessman/womanizer extraordinaire, Flavio Briatore, who kicked her ass to curb after less than a year and preggers!
Semen Vitamin Supplements To Come! - pg 210
The researchers then tested the women's emotional status and found that those who didn't use condoms - and had therefore been exposed to semen - were less depressed than those who used protection.
MacGyver Your Sex Life - pg 156
I downloaded the MyVibe app on my friend's iPhone, just to see what it was like (not that way.) Turns out there are 100 different vibes...
How Women Kill Their Sex Drive - pg 192
You usually go on the pill because you're going to be getting busier than a pair of rabbits. However, the hormonal cocktail drops your testosterone production, lowering your libido.
New Things To Try With Your Breasts - pg 215
Breast Tenderness: When you're feeling sore around your period, wrap a refrigerated lettuce leaf around your breasts, leave it there until it wilts.
Indoor Tanning Tax Part Of New Health Care Bill - pg 198
This past winter, the Senate proposed a 10% tax on indoor tanning as part of the new health-care plan... and President Obama later included it in his own version of the bill.
Below are the full scans of Heidi's inspirational interview!
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