Bite-sized, miscellaneous and/or linked posts.
You're wondering where I've been and all I can say to you is that I've been busy. I could fill you in on all the gory details of the past year but thats not why you clicked this post. You're reading this because you're like me and you've at last been released from television pergatory to only be welcomed into the kingdom of our savior Walter White.
The Outlaw
It was noon on the 4th of July. The sun hung high in the sky as I ran down the winding mountainside. My formerly spastic running had been replaced by something more steady; my breath was deep and even, my stride was fast and long, and the city pavement and skyline had been replaced by a pothole ridden mountain road canopied by hundred year woods. It was beautiful, and something that helped me clear my mind. Two miles down, two miles up. As I rounded the final bend down the mountain I saw the bottom of the ski slope I'd just run down,
"This is going to be a bitch back up," I said to myself, out of breath.
Continue reading Interactions With An Anonymous Stranger Who Will Remain Nameless Pt. V 
Well, it's been a while since I've done a good list so here you go. I've noticed a trend that's popped back up, one that hasn't been prevalent so much in our culture since the 70's, you know what I'm talking about... mustaches. Twirl them, comb them, ride them, they're all the same... or so I thought. I have to admit, while I go weak in the knees for facial hair, the one type that always gave me the "there's a child molester breathing down the back of my neck" shivers were mustaches... up until now that is. I see it all the time now, men sporting bare faces with a snuggled upper lip and I have to say... it's kind of turning me on.
So I took it upon myself to embrace this new trend of male grooming (because let's face it, any kind of male grooming should be embraced. Am I right ladies?!) and I've compiled the ultimate list! So here it is, the good, the bad and the ugly in MUSTACHES!
Hot Mustaches
Honorable Mustaches
Evil Mustaches
DISCLAIMER: I'm not telling every guy out there to grow a mustache just because you can. You need a certain type of face, a certain refinement, and a certain confidence to pull one off correctly. Please see the above examples for good mustaches and bad mustaches. 
It must be that time of the month again! My May issue of Cosmopolitan, staring Paramore's Hayley Williams, came in the mail! And as per our agreement, I've thumbed through the countless ads for self-tanner and diet pills to find the very best, this month's issue has to offer! And as per our agreement, you shall read what I have to say. Now go! READ IT!
Hayley Williams: Corn Dog of Revenge pg. 46-49
The Rubber-Band Effect pg. 144-147
I Have Orgasms All Day Long pg. 214-215
Sex Moves His Ex Didn't Do pg. 141-143
How Guys Really Feel About Your BO pg. 82
Decode His Texts pg. 256
May Look Book
Check out full scans of Hayley's boring interview.
The Hit On & Run
So this morning I woke up a bit early to go jogging by the Hudson River. Something I like to do when it's a nice, sunny morning, like it was today. The only problem was, I felt like shit. The week had worn on me and the last thing I wanted to do on a Friday morning was to go run for an hour.
But I did it anyway.
I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and threw on my all back outfit (I looked like I was attending a professional jogger's funeral) and I hit the pavement. The hour went by, and just three blocks away from my apartment, the sweet release of my shower and giant bottle of water I was stopped at a light.
"Excuse me miss,"
I turn to see a man had approached me and was looking me up and down. Mind you I have no make up on, extra baggy eyes, am pretty sweaty from my workout and having forgotten to put on deodorant, probably smelly. The one thing I did have working for me were my thin-fit technology sewn yoga pants that made my legs and ass look much more toned than they actually are.
"Yeah," I panted.
"How many miles would you say you run?"
"About four," I looked around, the light was about to change.
"Wow, that's about, that's like, a-" He was trying to do the math.
"That's about 80 blocks, that's good. So, um-"
The light changed.
"Gotta run!" I ran across the street and could make out his parting words.
"Keep up the good work!"
Best. Exit. Strategy. Ever. 
Britney Spears debuted her newest music video today, for Till The World Ends, which should be said is a slightly better song than Hold It Against Me, but taking into account the nauseating amount of brain power it takes to get it unstuck from your mind's playlist, it's probably about equal to anything Rebecca Black could give birth to. (Jesus Christ that was a long sentence.) That being said, I'm sure I'll be singing and dancing to this song by the weekend.
Brit's video tells the tale of the fated date in the not so distant future, December 21, 2012, when the Mayans predicted the world will end. Brit is held up in a basement with a few of her most beloved back up dancers, grinding up on one another waiting for apocalypse to come only to realize, upon poking her head out of a manhole, that the sun has come up and indeed she will see another day as a 30 year-old (that's how old Britney will be in 2012.)
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The music video for Katy Perry's E.T. featuring Kanye West premiered on MTV.com today and being that I've dedicated many a post to MissKaty I just had to comment. Now I could have gone with a headline that read "Katy Perry's E.T. Is Out Of This World" or something equally repulsive, but that would be both tacky and untrue. Granted, E.T. is lightyears beyond Firework, both in music video and songitude, but I have to admit that I was expecting something a wee bit more than what I got. Katy Perry only has three costume changes, four if you count her alien transformation, and she's basically a little flowy ball orbiting while Kanye West has the occasional angry outburst while holding his crotch (typical).
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Something I will give MissKaty credit for is proving me right. E.T., along with Lady Gaga's Born This Way and Britney Spears' Hold It Against Me music video, is just putting a big fat "right" on my forehead for all the world to see. In my Futuristic Feminist post I talked about the move of female artists into the future. And mark my words, you're going to see more of it. The transformation from tarty little girl pop stars to androgynous and beautifully deformed future ladies is only going to be more pronounced in the coming year. But we'll leave that for later, for now, just enjoy the E.T. picture book I created for you!
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Happy St. Patrick's Day! Today RadCooks is celebrating 1 of the top 5 drinking holidays by going green (and I don't mean in the eco way.) RadCooks will be covered in clovers for today only, so you should all be grateful that I'm giving your eyes a rest from my previous background. This time last year I was celebrating my 25% Irish heritage by waking up at noon, feasting on bounteous Chipotle and beginning my Irish Car Bombing promptly at 3pm. This year I woke up at 7am, went running on the Hudson river and won't begin my drinking until a ridiculously late hour of 8pm. Oh how times change!
Oh well... here's my list of 10 Cliché Things To Do On St. Patrick's Day!
1. Start drinking before noon and only drink: Guinness and/or any green beer, Jameson (or other Irish whiskey), Irish Car Bombs, Irish coffee, or fermented potato water (I believe they call it vodka.)
2. Get into a bar fight and then buy your foe a pint.
3. Eat corned beef, cabbage and potatoes.
4. Go to the St. Patrick's Day Parade in NYC (but only if you're so far gone that you don't actually know you're at the St. Patrick's Day Parade.)
5. Call someone out for celebrating YOUR holiday because THEY are NOT Irish (even if you might not exactly be Irish either.)
6. Make out with a hot Irishman or Irishlady.
7. Wear green... and lots of it.
8. Eat Lucky Charms for breakfast.
9. Go into your nearest pet shop and free as many snakes as possible.
10. Play a drinking game to "Leprechaun", every time Jenny Aniston falls in a patch of clovers take a shot.
And here's to the town that will surely be covered in green piss by the morning!
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What, can I say? It's been a while. It seems while one of my original From Scratch monthly posts recapping the cockamamie advice of one Cosmopolitan Magazine has been good to me with a plentitude of hits, I have not been very good to it, throwing it to the wayside in exchange for copious amounts of Ke$ha posts. Well I'm sorry, to the Cosmo rag and RadCooks faithfuls alike. I was doing all over you, myself included, a disservice of massive proportions. But don't fret, my duties to the Sex Bible will no longer go untended.
What's the change in attitude, say you? Well dear internet-mongers, it's Lent, and as a terrible Catholic and one who's never kept a Lent Resolution (what do you call what you give up for 40 days?) I've decided to turn over a new leaf. I'm not giving anything up this Lent, because that would be counter-productive, instead I'm going to do something. And what shall I do, you ask? I'm going to do reading! It's really quite shameful, I'm a writer, in and out, I write for fun, I write for leisure, I write for pay, I write because I'm always right but I don't read. So I'm going to, at least for the next 40 days (hopefully.)
Today I'm reading Cosmo's April edition, cover to cover, even the monthly rape article. I know what you're thinking, Cosmo isn't real reading, well to you I say, baby steps, my friend. Tomorrow I'm hitting Freud's "Three Contributions To The Theory of Sex," but tonight, tonight I read about PC muscles and mildly kinky sex! Without further ado, here's your Cosmo Recap for April 2011 starring Tron: Legacy's Olivia Wilde!
Cosmo Cover Girl: Olivia Wilde pg. 48-51
Birth Control Break Down: Why Your Method Sucks, Plus A NEW Condom & Morning After Pill! pg. 162-165
The Sexy Side Of Ovulation pg. 158-159
A Three-Step Guide To The Full Body Orgasm pg. 134
101 Things About Men: ORLY?! pg. 70-73
MacGyver Beauty Tips pg. 203-207
Your Hair Might Look Good, But It Can Also Give You Cancer! pg. 176
Read Olivia Wilde's full article below!
Here are the 83rd Academy Award Winers in the order it went down on the show... at leas the ones I was willing to bet my honor on.
Art Direction: Alice In Wonderland
My Prediction: The King's Speech, okay so I got one wrong, but does this category really matter to anyone who's not an art director?
Cinematography: Inception
My Prediction: The Social Network, I have to say I probably dropped the ball on this prediction, but they're totally different styles and I'm eating my words so there!
Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo
She dropped the F-bomb at the Oscars! Not Kla$$y.
Best Animated Feature: Toy Story 3
Consolation prize.
Adapted Screenplay: The Social Network
Done...
Original Screenplay: The King's Speech
and done.
Best Foreign Language Film: In A Better World
Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale
Prime time free advertising for an ex-crack addict's boxing gym!
Best Original Score: The Social Network
Long live rock n' roll!
Sound Mixing: Inception
Sound Editing: Inception
Documentary Feature: Inside Job
My Prediction: Gasland, okay I admitted I hadn't seen any of these movies... even the trailers.
Visual Effects: Inception
Film Editing: The Social Network
Best Original Song: Toy Story 3
My Prediction: Country Strong, not really a real predication more of a pipe dream.
Best Director: Tom Hooper
My Prediction: David Fincher, as soon as Tom Hooper's name was announced I knew The Social Network had a shot in hell of winning Best Picture.
Best Actress: Natalie Portman
Best Actor: Colin Firth
Best Picture: The King's Speech
My Prediction: The Social Network, as I said in my predictions post, the safe bet would be The King's Speech, it's a very Oscars movie. And while I'm not upset at all about the outcome of this, I chose to go with the more risky prediction with The Social Network because the Oscars were going in a younger direction but leave it to the oldies to go with the predictable pick. C'est la vie. Regardless it was a great year in film and a bearable Oscars... and that's really all I could ever ask for.
My Score: 12/18
Click for full list of winners!