Honestly, I'm a bit disappointed in this month's Cosmo cover girl. Heidi Klum is neither relevant or controversial right now. The article devoted to German Chocolate basically tells the tale of a physically superior 18 year-old who won a modeling contest, got to move to America, got a bitchin' job and was the envy of every woman in the world, being donned "The Body", fell in love, made a shit ton of money had 4 beautiful kids and lives happily ever after. We all know about Heidi and Seal and they're amazing relationship, how in love they are (gag), how much sex they have, how good it is and how they love to play dress up. The only thing I learned about Klum from this article is that she doesn't like to put on French Maid costumes in the bedroom. Oh, she can also down a glass of orange juice without taking a breath, and not one of those little ones, a big one. (You have to read the article to get that last one.) Seriously Cosmo, where's the dirt? Where's the sex? Where's the anything? This article was a fucking snooze. The only thing that sparked a bit of interest was when the writer briefly talked about Klum's relationship with Italian businessman/womanizer extraordinaire, Flavio Briatore, who kicked her ass to curb after less than a year and preggers! But no, Klum's life is a fucking fairy-tale because Seal picked her up in a hotel lobby and didn't care that she was carrying some Euro-trash's illegitimate spawn in her womb... he loved her anyway. Give me a fucking break!