Birth Control Break Down: Why Your Method Sucks, Plus A NEW Condom & Morning After Pill! The NEW Condom QuickStrips is a new condom that has straps to idiot proof slipping on the love glove. (Because you know in the dark, it doesn't matter if it's inside out as long as it's on and he gets to stick it in.) Downfall: Your condom has wings! The NEW Morning After Pill Ella is a new one-pill morning after option that is 98% effective and can be taken anytime within 5 days of unprotected sex. (Because you're really going to wait 5 days.) Downfall: You need a prescription. Your Birth Control Sucks If You Use... The Pill because... after years of hearing that it lowers your libido science finally has some proof. "A recent study found that 30% of those on hormonal methods (mostly the Pill) experienced lower levels of desire than did other women using other methods or no birth control at all." Cosmo credits this with the fact that the Pill lowers your testosterone level. Apparently, it also makes your skin more sensitive to the sun. Depo-Provera because... on average women who get the progesterone shot every three months gain about 11 lbs over three years. And no one wants to bone a fatty! Nuvaring because... you might develop a harmless "thick, heavy white discharge." Eww. Implanon because... the small implant may cause permanent scarring. The Patch because... if you weigh over 190 lbs (probably because you've been shooting up Depo-Provera every night) it may become less effective... also didn't they discontinue the patch because of all the people that died... and the fact that it's an ant-pregnancy sticker!