I know, I know. It's almost fucking May and we haven't gotten our fix of monthly What I Learned from Cosmo. It's not my fault. My mother hid my magazine. She seems to keep the faith that my excessive use of the word "fuck" combined with my unabashed dialogue about well... you know, is unbecoming of a lady. Quite possible, but I'm going to do it anyway. I love you mom! (She's really not that old-fashioned, it's just a little game we like to play... or is it?!)
Enough with the non sequiturs, here's what you've all been waiting for... my May recap of Cosmo: The Sexy Issue starring Heidi Klum (is she even still relevant? I mean her show's on Lifetime!)
Heidi Klum: Why The Fuck Does She Get Everything?! - pg 37
The only thing that sparked a bit of interest was when the writer briefly talked about Klum's relationship with Italian businessman/womanizer extraordinaire, Flavio Briatore, who kicked her ass to curb after less than a year and preggers!Semen Vitamin Supplements To Come! - pg 210
The researchers then tested the women's emotional status and found that those who didn't use condoms - and had therefore been exposed to semen - were less depressed than those who used protection.MacGyver Your Sex Life - pg 156
I downloaded the MyVibe app on my friend's iPhone, just to see what it was like (not that way.) Turns out there are 100 different vibes...How Women Kill Their Sex Drive - pg 192
You usually go on the pill because you're going to be getting busier than a pair of rabbits. However, the hormonal cocktail drops your testosterone production, lowering your libido.New Things To Try With Your Breasts - pg 215
Breast Tenderness: When you're feeling sore around your period, wrap a refrigerated lettuce leaf around your breasts, leave it there until it wilts.Indoor Tanning Tax Part Of New Health Care Bill - pg 198
This past winter, the Senate proposed a 10% tax on indoor tanning as part of the new health-care plan... and President Obama later included it in his own version of the bill.Below are the full scans of Heidi's inspirational interview!
