In case you haven't noticed, curvy women are taking over the world. Now society has taught us that thin = beautiful, but my readers have proved this beauty myth false by making my original Phat Girls list, my most popular post ever. So I've compiled here, for my cushion lovin' readers, a list that displays the diverse beauty that Phat Girls encompass. The original post celebrated 25 voluptuous women in Hollywood, well now I'm doubling down with 50 full-beautied actresses, models, musicians, comedians and showrunners. I give you, Phat Girls II!
What, can I say? It's been a while. It seems while one of my original From Scratch monthly posts recapping the cockamamie advice of one Cosmopolitan Magazine has been good to me with a plentitude of hits, I have not been very good to it, throwing it to the wayside in exchange for copious amounts of Ke$ha posts. Well I'm sorry, to the Cosmo rag and RadCooks faithfuls alike. I was doing all over you, myself included, a disservice of massive proportions. But don't fret, my duties to the Sex Bible will no longer go untended.
What's the change in attitude, say you? Well dear internet-mongers, it's Lent, and as a terrible Catholic and one who's never kept a Lent Resolution (what do you call what you give up for 40 days?) I've decided to turn over a new leaf. I'm not giving anything up this Lent, because that would be counter-productive, instead I'm going to do something. And what shall I do, you ask? I'm going to do reading! It's really quite shameful, I'm a writer, in and out, I write for fun, I write for leisure, I write for pay, I write because I'm always right but I don't read. So I'm going to, at least for the next 40 days (hopefully.)
Today I'm reading Cosmo's April edition, cover to cover, even the monthly rape article. I know what you're thinking, Cosmo isn't real reading, well to you I say, baby steps, my friend. Tomorrow I'm hitting Freud's "Three Contributions To The Theory of Sex," but tonight, tonight I read about PC muscles and mildly kinky sex! Without further ado, here's your Cosmo Recap for April 2011 starring Tron: Legacy's Olivia Wilde!
Cosmo Cover Girl: Olivia Wilde pg. 48-51Birth Control Break Down: Why Your Method Sucks, Plus A NEW Condom & Morning After Pill! pg. 162-165The Sexy Side Of Ovulation pg. 158-159A Three-Step Guide To The Full Body Orgasm pg. 134101 Things About Men: ORLY?! pg. 70-73MacGyver Beauty Tips pg. 203-207Your Hair Might Look Good, But It Can Also Give You Cancer! pg. 176Read Olivia Wilde's full article below!
Happy Holidays Everyone! Halloween marks the beginning of a long line of Judeo-Christian-National Holidays to come! Ah yes, tis the season, the season of Fall, when here in the Northeast, the leaves start to change, the weather gets nippier and you're allowed to layer because of all the winter weight you'll be packing on! Yes, I am indeed falling in love with Fall this year and Halloween is just the cherry on my end-of-summer sundae.
So You Wanna Play Dress Up?
Ask me why, Halloween is my favorite day of the year! Okay, okay, I'll tell you! Well as most of you bitches know, I'm tipping the scales of sanity, so Halloween is the one day of the year that I can go into the crazy room, let my freak flag fly and simultaneously party with Jesus, Michael Jackson and the Ninja Turtles! For New York especially, Halloween is the one night of the year when all rules are off, and in a time when there are no rules, how are we to know what to do? Well my dearies, that's why I've created this guide. No one is more learned with Halloween than I, so breathe easy, you're in experienced hands!
WhorestumesWittystumesCo$tumesGroupstumes & CouplestumesThe NO List (Don't Say I Didn't Warn You)
This post is brought to you by The Bed Intruder Costume (I'm sure we'll be seeing a few Antoine Dodsons on the 31st.)
Victoria's Secret announced that, beginning this fall, they will be branching out from skanky overpriced lingerie and 90s style catalogue collections and will now be selling sexy Halloween costumes! Playboy and Leg Avenue are at the forefront of slutty, overpriced, cheaply made outfits but with Vicky's now joining the ranks we're looking at a revolution in whorestumes.
Just personally speaking now, because you know I normally like to keep my opinions to myself (not), but as Halloween is my favorite day of the year (yes more than Christmas and more than my birthday combined) I am deeply offended by the whole "sexy costume" business. First of all most of the women (or pre-pubescent girls) who wear the slut-numbers are actually not very sexy. And since theses so-called costumes are made on the model of a Playboy centerfold and with the blood/sweat/tears of poor Filipino children they are generally not flattering on most, if not all, body types.
Now I've always been one to make my costumes and I generally prefer the witty costumes approach (when I was 16 I went to school dressed as a pregnant prom queen. Needless to say, it was a big hit.) But who knows, maybe Vicky's Secret will churn out a little higher quality, if not Klass, of "costumes." I actually was thinking of going as something sexy this year... like a sexy bearded lady. That's witty right?
Via ONTD
Happy Mother's Day! I hope you all remembered! I hope if you forgot you're not looking at this! YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO BE DOING.. LIKE BUYING YOUR MOTHER A PRESENT FOR LETTING YOU BREATHE AIR! Yeah, I'm sure she gave you a complex too... Well there's nothing I can do about that now. STOP TALKING BACK! I'm gonna be a great mom! Anyway... I would like to dedicate this post to my mother, a wonderful, caring, beautiful and smart woman! Now here, look at a bunch of exploitative pictures of celebrities who also happen to be mothers!
Honorable mention, Nadya Suleman aka Octomom invites you in!
Get Ready for some baby-weight-hiding-nude-on-the-bed-with-a-white-sheet-carefully-carving-out-my-curves photo shoots! NSFWContinue reading HAPPY MILF DAY: 40 Hot Hollywood Moms→
