In the hopes to diversify my glob and in my neverending quest to understand the opposite sex, I've added Esquire Magazine to my monthly What I Learned recaps. I have to say, I'm very pleased with my first men's magazine purchase. Luckily, the first issue I decided to pick up of Esquire is the Women Issue, it must be fate. What I've learned about men's mags, just by flipping through the rag, I do it back to front (I know, I'm an anomaly) is that they're shorter than women's mags, probably because there aren't as many ads, Viagra replaces Plan B spreads and the articles seem to be shorter, more serious and... of course, written by men. I hope you all enjoy these few gems I've taken away from this month's Esquire, here's what I learned! Christina Hendricks' Advice To Men - pg 80

It's the most impressive drink order. It's classic. It's sexy. Such a rich color. The glass, the smell. It's not watered down with fruit juice. It's Scotch. And you ordered it.

Ejaculatory Force: Are You a Shooter or a Dribbler? - pg 46

It's basically like stepping on a hose. The older you get the bigger your prostate gets and it causes pressure on the ejaculatory ducts and then less pressure builds.

Surprising Statistics About Women - pg 76

14% of women masturbate everyday

Love Advice From Barney Stinson - pg 121

Studies have shown the best way to feign interest in what a chick is saying is to silently not your head to 'My Sharona.'

Female to Male Greeting Translator - pg 111

Ever wonder how her many greetings translate? Keep this guide on hand when she's being cryptic (ie using a subscribed greeting Esquire has arbitrarily given underlying meanings.)

What Women Expect From Men - pg 109

Random Expectation: "He should know how to whittle wood." (You what they say about wood whittlers...)

Men Love Lumberjack-y Women - pg 75

Apparently, you look best to use when you look like a man - specifically, a drunk lumberjack with rhythm.

Side note: Just in case you're wondering what Esquire means dictionary.com defines it as "an unofficial title of respect, having no precise significance, sometimes placed, esp. in its abbreviated form, after a man's surname in formal written address." Basically it's a fancy sounding, made up title given to make men feel better about themselves who haven't achieved MD/PHD/DDS status. For all you Christina Hendricks lovers, here's a gallery of America's #1 Fire-Crotch!