COSMO: What I Learned In April 2010

This shit is a little cray-zay! Apparently there's been a lot of research done (because there's nothing else important to research, like, I don't know, curing cancer) on how closely linked women's cycles are to what kind of men they find attractive. I guess when we're perioding we biologically want a bay-bay and so we become more attracted to furry men, ie those with higher levels of testosterone. Testosterone makes you look more like a man, ie furry, square-jawed, low brow ect. The reason we seek out men like these when we're on the rag is because we, somehow, know that higher levels of testosterone = better immune system = healthier baby = prolonging our species. However, and this is a big however, men with higher levels of testosterone, ie hunky hunks, are more likely to fool around on us, because while we have a biological need to have the best baby ever, men with lots of Testosteroni (the other San Francisco treat) have a biological need to get as many women pregnant as possible. Which, basically sums up all of male and female behavior, women aren't baby-hungry and men aren't whores, we're both just trying to prolong our species the best ways we can. Anyway... I have a point I'm trying to make I promise... Here's where birth control intervenes, birth control stops our cycle. No cycle = no spike in hormones = being less likely to be attracted to hunky hunks = being more likely to find a husband. So, in conclusion, women who want to get married should take birth control because, according to Cosmo, men who have more feminine features (less testosterone) will be more willing to commit. But if, like me, you like your man with a bit of an edge you should probably stick to condoms, less you wish to find yourself less attracted to your man (which, let's face it, sometimes happens.) PS I'm not making any of this up, this is a legitimate scientific study... and was in Cosmo!

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