Chapter 1: A Brief History of Katy Perry Katy Perry was born, Kathryn Elizabeth Hudson to pastor parents (we'll get back to that later) in Santa Barbara, California (yes, she actually is a California girl.) She began her singing career as a Christina Rock artist and went by the name of Katy Hudson. See blonde, Christian Katy's hit (not) Christina Rock single, Faith Won't Fail. Katy did a few cameos, including one in ex-boyfriend, Travis McCoy's group, Gym Class Heroes's Cupid's Chokehold. She made her name by signing with Capitol Records and releasing her first hit single, Ur So Gay, which got the attention of a bunch of important people, including Madonna. When One Of The Boys came out, her next single was I Kissed A Girl and it shot her to stardom and landed her a feature From Scratch article on RadCooks. Katie Perry's love life has been somewhat turbulant, breaking up and getting back together with Gym Class Heroes' frontman, Travis McCoy. The two blast one another in songs. Circle The Drain - Katy Perry

Thought I was the exception/ I could rewrite your addiction/ You could have been the greatest/ But you'd rather get wasted/ You fall asleep during foreplay/ 'Cause the pills you take are more your forté/ I'm not sticking around to watch you go down/ Wanna be your lover/ Not your fucking mother.

Don’t Pretend - Gym Class Heroes

Little miss teary eyes you have no reason to lie to me/I finally realize why you can’t look eye to eye with me/And I knew about him the whole time/The hotels, phone calls, psshhh the whole nine.

However, with a recent engagement to rocker, all around funny man and my FBD, Russell Brand, Katy seems to be singing a happier tune, saying that she knows Russell would make the perfect father (um... I want that man's babies, but I would never let him near them, lest I want their bottles spiked with whiskey and bad cockney accents.) Now we all know of Russell Brand, and anyone who's read my Brand Post knows that I feel this man is insanely sick and enigmatically brilliant. Russell himself takes aim at the music industry and the idea of a sellable pop artist in his most recent flick, Get Him To The Greek. And for those of you who've read my Jackie Q Post, you might see a slight resemblance between the ruthlessly gorgeous but insolently dumb Jackie Q and a certain Miss Perry. Now I'm not saying that Russell modeled the Jackie Q character after his fiance... actually that's exactly what I'm saying. Russell Brand modeled the Jackie Q character off of Katy Perry... minus the whole British thing. But seriously, think about it. An out of control rocker with a skinny minnie, over-sexed, sidekick, trollop who's outlandish lyrics are the centerpiece of pop music hits! I believe I'm laying the foundation to my Ironic Feminist claim. Why would a smart man like Russell Brand propose to a dumb tart and then make fun of her in a movie... unless she wasn't a dumb tart at all?! Now back to the pastor parents deal. Katy's parents are pastors, but they weren't always with the Lord. In another time and in another place the parent's of one Kathryn Elizabeth Hudson were druggies! No?! Yes! They were. The story of how Katy's parents met is magical and much like how I imagine meeting my future husband. Katy's mom was a pot smoking debutante from California and Katy's dad was based in Washington as Timothy Leary's acid dealer (you can't make this shit up.) I'm guessing that one day Katy's mom wanted something a little harder than the Sour D her Cali dealer was pedaling, and went all the way to Washington looking for a heavier load when she met her future FBD, tripped out, saw Jesus and decided to become pastors and raise a Christian Rock prodigy! Katy's mom even went on a date with Jimmy Hendrix. (How awesome is that?) And with all this mounting evidence, I ask you, does it seem accurate that a Madonna inspiring, ex-boyfriend bashing, Russell Brand marrying, daughter of ex-druggies turned pastors former Christian Rock angel is not an Ironic Feminist? I'm sure you all need further evidence... so please, read on!