Esquire published a story by an Anonymous Male (code name for Pansy) as to why men cheat. Pansy explains,

But men don't cheat because they can. Men cheat because they must, because they need to. This is the male struggle. Need compels us to try again. Because copulation is not in any way about fate. It is not about two individuals destined to meet on some dark night. It's about random collisions.

Pansy goes on to talk about what he thinks of a woman (specifically when he's doing her up against a soda machine... can you say romantic?)

And I know, believe me I know, that hell truly hath no fury like a woman scorned. I have made my mistakes. There are women who despise me. Women will never understand how men can cheat because they think of it in terms of themselves —as something done to them. They treat it as an affront first, as a breakdown in social order, then a wound, then a mortal wound. And this is a key. They do this because women are singular, in both their desire and their demands. This is why I serve women well. I treat them as planetary objects, individual and quirky, gravitational and unique. When I am with a woman, in a hotel or in her car, pressing her up against a soda machine in the stairwell, I let everything else fall away. I am with her without pretense, obligation, or fear.

Pansy you are so right. Women are such singular beings, I'm sure when you come home all your wife does is talk about herself, not ask you about your day, I'm sure she never cooks you dinner or washes your shorts, I'm sure she never thinks of you, only herself. That must be why you cheat, because you're not singular, yeah Pansy, you're deep, a fucking ocean of selflessness. You do serve women, serve away, I know I'm always up for a serving of dickhead. Jump to see how this article leads to a MissBleecker apology! (This is a once in a lifetime phenomenon folks!) Continue reading WHY MEN CHEAT: A Love Story →