So recently there's been a spike in my Human Centipede post from a while back. I saw the movie this week, twice (don't ask me why twice) and am now fully equipped to give it the once over that I know all you sickos out there have been waiting for. Here is my review for The Human Centipede... may god help your soul.
WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS SO IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET AND YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS THEN DO NOT READ ON. IF YOU DO WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS THEN BE PREPARED FOR SOME PRETTY BAD GRAPHICOSITY. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE.The Human Centipede. What can I say? It started out innocently enough, a couple of dumb, 20-something women trying to go to a club in Germany, getting lost, getting a flat, getting out of the car and trudging through the woods for an hour in booty shorts and heels. Terrible acting mixed with bad dialogue and an overused horror film set up made my mind up for me within the first 20 minutes of the film... and then something happened. When the girls stumbled upon a creepy, all white and minimalist house in the middle of nowhere, an older, mysterious and not at all creepy man invites them inside, (from the pouring rain, which has drenched their clothes and given them mascara face of course).
The girls enter the house, decorated only by a few blown up pictures of conjoined twins (again not at all creepy.) Then, as any young girls should do when they're in a strangers house, they accept an open drink from said non-creepster (which of course is roofied.) When the girls ask the kind stranger if he lives with his wife the gentlemen replies with a hiss, "I don't like human beings." Again non of these events have been indicators that they are in fact in a horror movie. The drugs take over and the girls awaken in a thrown together hospital room, tied up to beds, they know some bad shit is about to go down. The kind doctor kidnaps a third victim, an angry Japanese man, who despite the language barrier, comes across loud and clear in his intentions, with or without subtitles.
Then it's on to the slide show, where Dr. Josef Heiter introduces himself as the world's foremost surgeon in separating conjoined twins. He walks them through the process in which they are about to become the first human recipients of the only surgery designed to connect humans, and how does he do this you ask? Through the gastric system of course.
Fun Fact: Director Tom Six based his idea for the film off a bad joke about stitching child molester's mouths to the ass of a fat trucker. It was his goal to make the surgical procedure as medically accurate as possible, but several doctors refused to participate. One surgeon's curiosity got the better of him and he designed the surgery as seen in the film, he noted that it is physically possible and if the back two were given IV drips the Centipede could live for years.
When I first saw this movie, I figured I'd be watching this Lindsay chick trying to escape the whole time at the prospect of being Centipeded, but at the midpoint of the film, we know that is not the case. We see Dr. Heiter in surgery, Centipeding his captives and then you know that the film is not going to be about escape from becoming the Centipede, it's going to be about escaping as the Centipede.Dieter Laser delivers a knock out performance as the mad scientist Dr. Josef Heiter. While Laser brilliantly portrays a monster, who despite being human himself, is sickly offended by the race. If only Six had given Laser more to go off than "act crazy" Laser might have actually been semi-sympathetic. However, Laser does his best to have the Centipede watchers click with his character, even if it's to be shocked, if not saddened, by the demise of his character in the third act. What I would have liked to see is Laser being a bit more charming, it no doubt came out from time to time, from offering his guests glasses of water to getting a smashed window replaced with his creation in the basement. Heiter was, no doubt, a cocky son of a bitch, who might not have needed a tranq gun to lure all of his victims in, had he used some of his education for his benefit. Not only would the charm offset the sheer sickness of the film and his character but it would make his random outbursts that much more shocking. Still Laser was one of the redeeming qualities of the film. He's got the look, he's got the German and he fit perfectly into knee high riding boots!
As for the girls, the Jenny Tail, as Heiter referred to her, was played by first time film star Ashlynn Yennie, who delivered one of the only intelligent lines in the film, "Leaving the car was the stupidest thing we've ever done." She was a poorly acted whining, skeptical sidekick who unfortunately, after being donned the end of the line, didn't add much to the character of the Centipede. One of the most sincere moments of the film, however, came after the birth of the Centipede, while the lead rattled the cage the girls continued to cry (wouldn't you?) but grasped at each others hands, knowing, that even in the worst of situations, it's always best to have a friend. Awe!
Anyway, back to ass to mouth.
The, I guess, protagonist of the film, Lindsay, played by Ashley C. Williams, another newcomer, was a nightmare of clichés and poorly emphasized lines for the first act of the film. It wasn't until she got tied up and learned her fate that she began to act. And what a transformation it was. At her first attempted escape, Lindsay has a horrifying scene in a pool with a great dialogue with her captor. He sees the spunk in her and compares her to one of his Rottweilers (Heiter had originally done the procedure with three rottweiler dogs) that tried to escape, and then he delivers the most horrifying line of the movie, "and now I know definitely, that you are the middle piece!" And after learning her fate, monkey in the middle has a shot to run like the devil, but of course, it wouldn't be a good horror movie if she didn't go back for her friend, make a shit ton of noise and have a 10 minute montage dragging her tranquilized sidekick through the house, only to get tranqed herself, and then... well... you know what happens. Honestly though, I don't know what it was but as soon as she became a part of the Centipede she became a good actress, of course she couldn't speak and was crying the whole time, but I really believed her pain. Though I'm sure she went method this movie, I mean who wouldn't be deeply saddened by the fact that your first real movie you're naked, running a salad tossing chain in Germany?
And then there was the little whippersnapper that could, the lead of the Centipede, Katsuro, played by Akihiro Kitamura. For me, he stole the show. He let Heiter know that he wasn't afraid of him, continuously disobeying the deranged doc. There was a clear reason Heiter chose the Japanese male, Katsuro, as the lead of the Centipede, not only to create a language barrier from him and his pet, but it was because of Katsuro's fervor for live and obstinacy that he was chosen. Heiter wanted to break human beings as one would tame a dog. For me the movie climaxed when the Centipede, lead by Katsuro, is close to escape when the injured Heiter catches up to them. With Heiter grasping a scalpel and Katsuro brandishing a shard of glass, the audience gets ready for the showdown of the century, creation vs. creator; instead what we get is a deep meditation on what it means to be human. Katsuro begins to laugh maniacally, asking Heiter if he is God and if this is punishment for living a poor life, he ends his eloquent speech with, "but dear God, I would like to believe I am still a human being," which is followed but Katsuro brutally slitting his own throat, leaving the Centipede and Heiter without the zealous lead.
There are supposed to be allusions to WWII is this film, with the antagonist being played by a German and the tortured Centipede being comprised of American and Japanese parts, the Wikipedia article said something about playing off Nazi experiments. I'm not sure how much water that can hold but the themes on the human will to survive and, cornilly enough, working together as human beings came through loud and clear. The script could have definitely benefited from a few revisions, maybe even another writer, though I could understand why Six would want to keep his idea baby close at hand. Supposedly when Six was looking for funding he only told his potential backers that it was a horror movie about a deranged doctor, nothing of the Centipede, for obvious reasons. Six's financiers weren't aware of the content until after production was complete, at least the Centipede got to know what they were in for before hand. Six does a way better job of getting performances and building suspense once the story has begun, I hope that he won't wait to become a good director until 30 minutes into his movie in the Centipedes to come.
Overall I will say that I very much enjoyed this film, and would recommend it to anyone who thinks they could stomach the thought of a conjoined triplet. I will tell potential viewers that most of the gore is implied rather than shown, something I like, mostly because I like reaction shots better than torture porn sequences, but I also feel that the audience will cringe more at the thought of seeing something rather than actually seeing it (at least that's the case for me, I have a very wild imagination.) If you're going into this film and expecting to see Oldboy (You should see this movie!) or some other legitimate torture porn flick, you should set your standards a little lower, go into it expecting to see a human centipede and you won't be disappointed. Centipede does play into stereotypical horror genre setups and structure, but once we're inside Heiter's Laboratory the chase is on and you will need to know how it ends. I hope you all enjoyed this review, now go watch the movie! Sweet dreams!
Side note: Roger Ebert said of the film, "[usually] I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine."
Read Roger Ebert's full review.
Read the Variety review.
So recently there's been a spike in my Human Centipede post from a while back. I saw the movie this week, twice (don't ask me why twice) and am now fully equipped to give it the once over that I know all you sickos out there have been waiting for. Here is my review for The Human Centipede... may god help your soul.
WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS SO IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET AND YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS THEN DO NOT READ ON. IF YOU DO WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS THEN BE PREPARED FOR SOME PRETTY BAD GRAPHICOSITY. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE.
The Human Centipede. What can I say? It started out innocently enough, a couple of dumb, 20-something women trying to go to a club in Germany, getting lost, getting a flat, getting out of the car and trudging through the woods for an hour in booty shorts and heels. Terrible acting mixed with bad dialogue and an overused horror film set up made my mind up for me within the first 20 minutes of the film... and then something happened. When the girls stumbled upon a creepy, all white and minimalist house in the middle of nowhere, an older, mysterious and not at all creepy man invites them inside, (from the pouring rain, which has drenched their clothes and given them mascara face of course).
The girls enter the house, decorated only by a few blown up pictures of conjoined twins (again not at all creepy.) Then, as any young girls should do when they're in a strangers house, they accept an open drink from said non-creepster (which of course is roofied.) When the girls ask the kind stranger if he lives with his wife the gentlemen replies with a hiss, "I don't like human beings." Again non of these events have been indicators that they are in fact in a horror movie. The drugs take over and the girls awaken in a thrown together hospital room, tied up to beds, they know some bad shit is about to go down. The kind doctor kidnaps a third victim, an angry Japanese man, who despite the language barrier, comes across loud and clear in his intentions, with or without subtitles.
Then it's on to the slide show, where Dr. Josef Heiter introduces himself as the world's foremost surgeon in separating conjoined twins. He walks them through the process in which they are about to become the first human recipients of the only surgery designed to connect humans, and how does he do this you ask? Through the gastric system of course.
Fun Fact: Director Tom Six based his idea for the film off a bad joke about stitching child molester's mouths to the ass of a fat trucker. It was his goal to make the surgical procedure as medically accurate as possible, but several doctors refused to participate. One surgeon's curiosity got the better of him and he designed the surgery as seen in the film, he noted that it is physically possible and if the back two were given IV drips the Centipede could live for years.
When I first saw this movie, I figured I'd be watching this Lindsay chick trying to escape the whole time at the prospect of being Centipeded, but at the midpoint of the film, we know that is not the case. We see Dr. Heiter in surgery, Centipeding his captives and then you know that the film is not going to be about escape from becoming the Centipede, it's going to be about escaping as the Centipede.
Dieter Laser delivers a knock out performance as the mad scientist Dr. Josef Heiter. While Laser brilliantly portrays a monster, who despite being human himself, is sickly offended by the race. If only Six had given Laser more to go off than "act crazy" Laser might have actually been semi-sympathetic. However, Laser does his best to have the Centipede watchers click with his character, even if it's to be shocked, if not saddened, by the demise of his character in the third act. What I would have liked to see is Laser being a bit more charming, it no doubt came out from time to time, from offering his guests glasses of water to getting a smashed window replaced with his creation in the basement. Heiter was, no doubt, a cocky son of a bitch, who might not have needed a tranq gun to lure all of his victims in, had he used some of his education for his benefit. Not only would the charm offset the sheer sickness of the film and his character but it would make his random outbursts that much more shocking. Still Laser was one of the redeeming qualities of the film. He's got the look, he's got the German and he fit perfectly into knee high riding boots!
As for the girls, the Jenny Tail, as Heiter referred to her, was played by first time film star Ashlynn Yennie, who delivered one of the only intelligent lines in the film, "Leaving the car was the stupidest thing we've ever done." She was a poorly acted whining, skeptical sidekick who unfortunately, after being donned the end of the line, didn't add much to the character of the Centipede. One of the most sincere moments of the film, however, came after the birth of the Centipede, while the lead rattled the cage the girls continued to cry (wouldn't you?) but grasped at each others hands, knowing, that even in the worst of situations, it's always best to have a friend. Awe!
Anyway, back to ass to mouth.
The, I guess, protagonist of the film, Lindsay, played by Ashley C. Williams, another newcomer, was a nightmare of clichés and poorly emphasized lines for the first act of the film. It wasn't until she got tied up and learned her fate that she began to act. And what a transformation it was. At her first attempted escape, Lindsay has a horrifying scene in a pool with a great dialogue with her captor. He sees the spunk in her and compares her to one of his Rottweilers (Heiter had originally done the procedure with three rottweiler dogs) that tried to escape, and then he delivers the most horrifying line of the movie, "and now I know definitely, that you are the middle piece!" And after learning her fate, monkey in the middle has a shot to run like the devil, but of course, it wouldn't be a good horror movie if she didn't go back for her friend, make a shit ton of noise and have a 10 minute montage dragging her tranquilized sidekick through the house, only to get tranqed herself, and then... well... you know what happens. Honestly though, I don't know what it was but as soon as she became a part of the Centipede she became a good actress, of course she couldn't speak and was crying the whole time, but I really believed her pain. Though I'm sure she went method this movie, I mean who wouldn't be deeply saddened by the fact that your first real movie you're naked, running a salad tossing chain in Germany?
And then there was the little whippersnapper that could, the lead of the Centipede, Katsuro, played by Akihiro Kitamura. For me, he stole the show. He let Heiter know that he wasn't afraid of him, continuously disobeying the deranged doc. There was a clear reason Heiter chose the Japanese male, Katsuro, as the lead of the Centipede, not only to create a language barrier from him and his pet, but it was because of Katsuro's fervor for live and obstinacy that he was chosen. Heiter wanted to break human beings as one would tame a dog. For me the movie climaxed when the Centipede, lead by Katsuro, is close to escape when the injured Heiter catches up to them. With Heiter grasping a scalpel and Katsuro brandishing a shard of glass, the audience gets ready for the showdown of the century, creation vs. creator; instead what we get is a deep meditation on what it means to be human. Katsuro begins to laugh maniacally, asking Heiter if he is God and if this is punishment for living a poor life, he ends his eloquent speech with, "but dear God, I would like to believe I am still a human being," which is followed but Katsuro brutally slitting his own throat, leaving the Centipede and Heiter without the zealous lead.
There are supposed to be allusions to WWII is this film, with the antagonist being played by a German and the tortured Centipede being comprised of American and Japanese parts, the Wikipedia article said something about playing off Nazi experiments. I'm not sure how much water that can hold but the themes on the human will to survive and, cornilly enough, working together as human beings came through loud and clear. The script could have definitely benefited from a few revisions, maybe even another writer, though I could understand why Six would want to keep his idea baby close at hand. Supposedly when Six was looking for funding he only told his potential backers that it was a horror movie about a deranged doctor, nothing of the Centipede, for obvious reasons. Six's financiers weren't aware of the content until after production was complete, at least the Centipede got to know what they were in for before hand. Six does a way better job of getting performances and building suspense once the story has begun, I hope that he won't wait to become a good director until 30 minutes into his movie in the Centipedes to come.
Overall I will say that I very much enjoyed this film, and would recommend it to anyone who thinks they could stomach the thought of a conjoined triplet. I will tell potential viewers that most of the gore is implied rather than shown, something I like, mostly because I like reaction shots better than torture porn sequences, but I also feel that the audience will cringe more at the thought of seeing something rather than actually seeing it (at least that's the case for me, I have a very wild imagination.) If you're going into this film and expecting to see Oldboy (You should see this movie!) or some other legitimate torture porn flick, you should set your standards a little lower, go into it expecting to see a human centipede and you won't be disappointed. Centipede does play into stereotypical horror genre setups and structure, but once we're inside Heiter's Laboratory the chase is on and you will need to know how it ends. I hope you all enjoyed this review, now go watch the movie! Sweet dreams!
Side note: Roger Ebert said of the film, "[usually] I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine."
Read Roger Ebert's full review.
Read the Variety review.
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