Tag Archives: coriolanus

Practical Will: Coriolanus

The Tragedy of Coriolanus a Tragedy by William Shakespeare

Coriolanus, or as he's referred to early on in the play, Caius Martius, is a Roman war hero, who is also a bit of a stuck-up, arrogant snob. The people of Rome are rioting because the upper-crust refuses to give them corn, Cori puts all the Plebeians on blast for being greedy for wanting food. Understandably so, everyone in Rome hates Cori because of his tude, they're close to banishing him altogether, but they first need him to win one more battle. So they send big-bad Cori to Coriloi (hint: this is where he gets his new aka) to fight the evil Volscians (not related to Star Trek). Only one big snafu occurs and Cori is locked inside the city alone. He shows just how badass he is, by single-handedly killing all the evil Volscians, for which the city gives him the new moniker, Coriolanus.

Cori returns to Rome and is now super popular, the Plebeians forget all about how much of a dick he was before. So he decides to run for office, but in order to do so, he needs to humbly ask for votes, which he's really not good at. When Cori loses the election he is pissed, he's like, "I cannot believe those gross poor people didn't vote for spectacular me. I mean I am the best, I would vote for me!" So he teams up with his arch nemesis Aufidius to teach Rome a lesson for not making him their leader. All of Cori's female relatives come up on him like, "Son, you're overreacting just a tad, maybe don't burn your hometown to the ground just because you weren't voted most popular." After some sweet talk, he agrees and returns to Rome without his army. But Aufi is even more his enemy now for backing out of their deal and insights another riot, which results in Cori being brutally stabbed by dozens of Plebs in the street. Almost immediately after his death, everyone decides, "Oh actually Cori wasn't that bad a guy, he did risk his life for everyone a bunch. He was just kinda into himself." And so Cori is basically martyred and remembered as a war hero, instead of the greedy, classist he was.