lesbian – RADIOACTIVE COOKIES

Why It Sucks To Be A Lesbian

MissBleecker — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 00:12:28 +0000

If you know me ask me to sing a song for you I wrote about lesbians. It's both tender and hysterical! 1. Syncing Up - It's hard enough being around people when you're perioding, it's even harder being around your boyfriend, it's even fucking harder when your boyfriend is actually a woman who also has her period! Kudos to the ladies who can do it, but if it were me, I'd just quote The L Word 24/7, "I hope you bleed soon!" 2. Porn Lesbians vs. Real Lesbians - Porn fantasticizes (yeah I said fantasticizes!) lesbian sex. They usually hire (broke) straight women to do the nasty and the result is something less than accurate. 3. Butch - As all gay men are not Queens, not all lesbians are butch, man-hating, Birkenstock wearing dykes. Dive for 4 more reasons it sucks to go down! 4. The Real L Word - Television didn't stop at ruining gay male culture; now that it sees it has a market with lesbians it's going to exploit them too! TV is swinging more and more lesbian orientation. 5. Artificial Insemination Is Expensive - Yes it might be easier for a lesbian couple to have a child, what the all the uteri (or uteruses, Wikipedia says both plural forms are correct.) However artificial insemination is expensive and not likely to take. 6. Straight Women - Whether it's a straight actress trying to play a lesbian, ie Julianne Moore & Amanda Seyfried in Chloe; or it's drunk girls thinking it's funny to make out with one another, straight women are fucking PITAs! (In case you didn't get that, it's "pain in the ass.") A lot of straight women don't get that "gay for the stay" isn't a sexuality. 7. Lindsay Lohan - No woman does a census bracket more harm than Lindsay Lohan. Going from adorable red-headed child star to flaming fire-crotch, having super-lesbian battles with Samantha Ronson was something no one saw coming. When will it end?!

Why It Rocks To Be A Lesbian

MissBleecker — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 18:56:54 +0000

[Insert joke implying lesbians are good at sports and stronger than men.] 1. Low Risk Situation - Most STDs are not a problem for lesbians. And pregnancy is impossible. Basically being a lesbian is like investing in low risk stocks. Not a lot of bad is going to happen to you! 2. Sexual Acceptance - In film and television lesbianism is much more prevalent than male homosexual sex. Somehow the censors feel it's okay to show lesbians getting it on. Possibly because lesbian sex is more socially acceptable! 3. No Bells & Whistles - Throw out your birth control and let those condoms expire! You don't need anything extra to fool around with another girl! Leaving the distractions behind, I'm sure, is an added pleasure! Dive for 4 more reasons going down is bitchin'! 4. FOREPLAY IS ALLPLAY - It's no secret that women love foreplay! If you're a lady getting it on with another lady, you don't have to worry about having her return the favor and making sure your oven is pre-heated! You two will be cooking all night long! (Side note: I'm really into the corny one liners recently!) 5. Babies - While gay men can have a hard time adopting and an even harder time finding surrogate lesbians have two spare wombs! Not to mention, sperm banks are more popular and more accessible than egg banks. 6. All The Bells & Whistles - I know what I said in #3 but let me spit two words at you: SEX TOYS. 7. Ellen Degeneres - No one plays the game better than pro-baller Ellen Degeneres! She's a chick-magnet, funny as hell and can save anyone's life in a dance-off! Hey fabulous gay men, here's Why You Rock!

THE REAL L WORD: More Pussy Than One Show Can Handle

MissBleecker — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 16:31:39 +0000

This isn't exploiting and oversexualizing lesbians at all! It's out with the old and in with the reality! Showtime is following up their hit, yet corrupted, series with a reality twist in The Real L Word. I'm guessing it's going to be a bunch of lipstick lesbians trotting around Los Angeles physically and emotionally screwing each other... much like it's scripted counterpart. Side note: Thanks for the great traffic on the sex posts (you sick bitches!) but I do understand that lately I've been leaving my LGBTQ brothers and sisters out... basically I'm implying there's going to be a couple of gay posts coming up!

“THE RUNAWAYS” REVIEW: Men, You Can’t Stomach This Kind Of Gore

MissBleecker — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 20:11:49 +0000

Check out the trailer for The Runaways starring Kristen Stewart & Dakota Fanning. While you're in a video watching mood, check out baby Cherie Currie and baby Joan Jett performing "Cherry Bomb" in Japan circa 1977. Rock on ladies! WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, WAIT UNTIL FUCKING MARCH 19 AND PAY $12.50, OR A FEW BUCKS LESS IF YOU LIVE IN NOT NYC (WHICH I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'D BE READING THIS IF YOU DIDN'T, OR EVEN IF YOU DID FOR THAT MATTER.) Nothing says chick flick like blood... menstrual blood that is. The Runaways opens with a single drop of Scorsese Red blood falling onto the pavement, as the camera moves up a mature Dakota Fanning's leg to reveal the source. Blood streams down her leg from under her mini skirt as she and her sister run to a nearby public restroom, exchange panties, and do the old pad made out of napkins song and dance. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about, men, I'm sorry I ruined the fantasy. Women bleed! The Runaways, starring Kristen Stewart, of Twilight fame, and Dakota Fanning, of War of the Worlds, is a biopic based on frontwoman, Cherie Currie's book Neon Angel. They were an all girl, teenage rock band who's life spanned 1975-1979. Their hits include "Cherry Bomb", "Queens of Noise", "Rock n Roll", "Neon Angels (On the Road to Ruin)", and "Born to Be Bad." The film, The Runaways, could have been more appropriately titled The Runaways: Breaking the Fuck out of the Hollywood Darling Mold. While Fanning, who plays frontwoman and good girl gone very, very naughty Cherie Currie, has spent most of her career picking roles of substance and sometimes controversy, ie Hounddog, in which she plays a rape victim. However, Fanning remains to be seen as a child actor. Well, nothing says growing up better than menstruation, girl on girl action, drinking/popping/snorting anything and everything, lingerie and rock 'n roll! Fanning, giving a solid performance, certainly smashes any preconceived notions with her latest role. The film, certainly is, all about Currie, although Stewart gets top billing. From her meager beginnings as a 15 year old lip synching David Bowie in her school's talent show, donning metallic red disco pants to her downfall and dismembering herself from the band. Fanning does a great job of portraying Currie as naive, fame hungry and addictive without seeming like a diva. If Fanning doesn't supply enough sympathy for her character her family life certainly brings it home. From her fairweather mother, randomly played by Tatum O'neil, who decides to move to Indonesia at the top of the film to her alcoholic father... excuse me, he's not an alcoholic, he just likes to drink as Fanning explains, "that's the difference." Showing the opposite end of the rocker chick spectrum, Stewart, who plays Joan Jett, gives yet again, another shy, monotone, angsty portrayal of a character. However, unlike her Bella portrayal, she might just be spot on in Jett. At the screening I attended, the real life Joan Jett was there for a Q&A and seemed to be not too far off from Stewart's portrayal, save for her gravely yet sultry voice. Yeah, I said "gravely yet sultry!" Stewart certainly had her mannerisms down and got Jett's famous shag-do almost perfectly. It might just be my aversion to everything Kristen Stewart but I didn't totally dig her, I didn't totally undig her either for that matter. She was just so-so, which is much more than I was expecting out of her. So good job K-Stew! It's quite clear, however, that Stewart's choice in Jett might have been somewhat motivated by her aversion to everything Twilight. Like Fanning, Stewart is clearly trying to break out of the child/teen/tween/whatever-the-fuck-they're-calling-it-these-days actor mold by choosing more adult roles, or in this case, more lesbian roles. While I think it's fair to say Fanning and Stewart both delivered in this film, Michael Shannon's, Oscar nominated for his role in Revolutionary Road, portrayal of rogue record producer Kim Fowley stole the show. Clearly the most experienced actor of the lot, Shannon's larger than life presence in every scene he was in left me wanting more. He had some of the best lines in the film, repeatedly telling the girls that rock 'n roll is about sex and "this is not women's lib, this is women's libido!" Screaming at Currie to "orgasm" her songs. When asked by an audience member if Fowley was accurately portrayed in the film, Jett replied that that was Kim and "so much more." Penned by first time screenwriter, Floria Sigismondi, the script was richly visual, not heavy with dialogue, but rightfully funny and poignant. Sigismondi also directed this film and did a fairly okay job. If you ask me she used a little too much red light, which, let's face it, everything looks awesome in red light. Her choices were solid, mostly safe and expected. However, unlike many other director's, Tarentino I'm looking at you, she didn't draw attention away from the story with her outlandish style, which in my opinion, the focus of the story should be... well, the story. I love period pieces, especially those set in the 1970s, and this film was definitely authentic. Kudos to top notch work by the large art department. Overall, I'd say the movie was good, it's certainly no masterpiece of cinema but definitely a great movie to make you feel empowered, rockin' and also kind of bad about doing the "dirty sink." Reference to, drummer Sandy West, skimming off the top of each and every bottle in her parents' liquor cabinet to create an iced tea colored concoction in a baby shampoo bottle. We've all been there! Since the gracious Joan Jett was in attendance at the screening she answered some questions from the audience and gave a little taste of what it was like being part of an all girl rock band in the 1970s. When asked if there were any similar "rules of the road" to an all male rock band, as in a different girl in every city, Jett replied, "I think it was pretty much the same for us!" She also told a fun anecdote about herself, Currie and West getting arrested for stealing hotel keys. Since Jett was the only participant of age, she was the only one behind actual bars. She said she sang and rattled her cage until they let her out, which they did! However, with all these great stories I think my favorite was when she revealed that Kenny Ortega, director of Newsies and the High School Musical trilogy, choreographed some of their stage moves! Now I'm not saying The Runaways didn't have great moves, but I think they might have stayed together a little longer if their choreography had looked a little more like this. See video below for 1899 style fist pumping. And lastly, for your personal satisfaction, below is a small gallery containing a couple movie posters and a snap of the real Runaways and their doppelgangers! The Runaways movie image

" data-medium-file="https://i2.wp.com/www.radioactivecookies.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/runaways-031.jpg?fit=300%2C200&ssl=1" data-large-file="https://i2.wp.com/www.radioactivecookies.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/runaways-031.jpg?fit=474%2C315&ssl=1" /> The holy grail of review zines covered the flick about a month ago. They gave it a fairly similar, albeit, slightly more professional review. Check out Variety for the full review.