date – RADIOACTIVE COOKIES https://www.radioactivecookies.com Go on, take a bite! Fri, 18 Mar 2016 20:23:29 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.3 108799538 Why It Sucks To Have A Penis https://www.radioactivecookies.com/why-it-sucks-to-have-a-penis/ https://www.radioactivecookies.com/why-it-sucks-to-have-a-penis/#comments Fri, 19 Mar 2010 19:53:42 +0000 http://radioactivecookies.wordpress.com/?p=621 Continue reading Why It Sucks To Have A Penis →]]> Men, I love you, and I give you guys credit for everything you have to do. I believe I truly understand why it sucks to be a guy, and please, if you wish to correct me after you finish reading this then let's go out for a drink (my treat!) Why It Sucks To Have A Penis 1. You Have To Pay For Dates - While I do think a man should pay for the first three dates (at the very least the first) and I'll always offer to go Dutch, there are women who expect men to pay for a lot more. In this economy it's hard to date, and we understand that. Please refer to my post, Free Ways To Get Laid if your pockets are a little light of late. 2. Rejection - We do expect you to make the first move, we also expect you to get the fuck away from us if we shoot you down. It's hard to deal with rejection on a regular basis. My hat goes off to all the men who try, fail and continue to try! 3. Condoms - We understand that it must feel very claustrophobic for your little Princess Sophia to be tightly wrapped up in latex... but understand that pregnancy/abortions are expensive and herpes never dies! 4. You Die Sooner - Death is something that everyone has to face, it just sucks that men have a few years less to spend on the earth. But just think of it like this, when you die your wife is going to be left with nothing to mend her broken heart... except for all your money, personal belongings and pension. I kid. Not really. 6 more reasons why it sucks to be a dude after the jump! 5. Male Pattern Baldness - No consecutive three word phrase scares a man more than "male pattern baldness." We understand your pride is linked to your hair, or lack thereof, so men, cherish it while you've got it and just remember, it comes from your mother's side. 6. The Mental Illness Factor - Men are much more likely to be sociopaths and murderers. So while women might act crazy, men actually are CRAZY! 7. Fighting/Violence - You've been taught from a young age to never back down from a fight. And let's face it, no matter how drunk you are, or how much of a dick that other guy is being, sometimes we just want to say, "Let's hug it out man." 8. Rectal Exams - Scary but necessary... and no it's not "gay." 9. You Get Weird Looks When You Order A Fruity Drink - You know, sometimes after a long day of work, your feet are hurting and your boss ripped you a new one you just want to sit down, watch the game and kick back with a strawberry daiquiri, and who's to say you shouldn't? 10. Women Are Crazy - Women are crazy. I'm repeating it because it's true. We are emotional beings, but this isn't a bad thing. Men suppress a lot of their emotions because it's seen as a feminine and week quality, this also accounts for a high level of mental illnesses in men. Please let your feelings out, we'd be less crazy because we'd know how you feel. Also, sometimes a brother just needs to cry. There you have it. My 2-parter glob post. I hope all you ladies and gents have enjoyed it and maybe learned a little more about each other. Ladies, if you feel I'm being a little kind on the guys, check out the reasons Why It Sucks To Have A Vagina. ]]> https://www.radioactivecookies.com/why-it-sucks-to-have-a-penis/feed/ 2 621 FOR MEN ONLY: Free Ways To Get Laid https://www.radioactivecookies.com/for-men-only-free-ways-to-get-laid/ https://www.radioactivecookies.com/for-men-only-free-ways-to-get-laid/#comments Fri, 12 Mar 2010 18:43:36 +0000 http://radioactivecookies.wordpress.com/?p=479 Continue reading FOR MEN ONLY: Free Ways To Get Laid →]]> They say we live in a world where chivalry has died, I say to they that chivalry is not dead... it's just in hibernation. We all want to be equal and as I see it, chivalry is a sort of cultural reparations for all the extra shit women have to deal with/pay for that men don't. I know, I know, it's tough to be a guy, the grass is always greener, whatever old saying you want to use, I know it's not easy being a man. As a woman, and an overall liker (I would have said lover but... you know) of men I want to help you get what you want... sex. Let's face it, in this economy it's tough to be in a relationship, it's even harder at the beginning of a relationship when a guy is expected to pay for every/most things. Those first few dates are clutch; we women know you guys are looking to score and, whether we like to admit it or not, we're testing you. The disconnect happens when a guy thinks he has to do big things to impress a woman. Here's a secret, we women (and when I say we women, I'm speaking on behalf of all Klassy women, because let's face it, you can't turn a whore into a housewife)... anyway, we women care more about small gestures that can mean a lot than big gestures that don't have any thought behind them. If you follow these guidelines, guaranteed*, you will make a big impression on that special lady of yours... which might make her a little easier. Just saying. Side note: Guarantee only applies to Klassy ladies, ie those who aren't going out with you because she feels bad for you, has nothing else to do, you wore her down and/or you're paying for her meal. Things A Man Can Do To Get A Girl To Sleep With Him - Recession Style 15 helpful hints after the jump! 1. Hold The Door Open For Her - I cannot begin to tell you how much this does. When you go through a door first, or don't even hold it and let it slam in her face it's pretty much a red flag that if your man is not being gentlemanly early on, it's just going to go downhill. Seriously, it means a lot when you hold the door open. All men should do this for all women, even if you don't want sex. It's just polite! 2. Cook Her Dinner And Clean Up The Mess - We care less about the fact that you might suck at cooking, what we care about is that you're trying. And when you're done, please do the dishes, it's not fun cleaning up someone else's mess. Just make sure she sees you do the dishes, otherwise it won't count. 3. Don't Pressure Her - When a man wants something badly (bad?) we tend to be more coy about giving it to him. If you take the pressure off sex she will probably be more open and even take the initiative. 4. Play, 4play, Fourplay, FOREPLAY! - I cannot stress how important this one is. If the foreplay is bad the sex probably isn't going to be much better. The more you tease her before sex the more she's going to want it! 5. Compliment Her - You know how men like to get their egos stroked? Well so do women. Tell us we look beautiful. Use the word beautiful. 6. Listen. Huh? LISTEN! - I know it's hard to listen to us bitch about our day, talk about celeb gossip or whatever is it us women talk about, but it means a lot when a man listens to a woman. It means even more when you make insightful comments about what we're talking about. Even if you don't care, fake it, we do. 7. Throw The Small Ones Back - Women have a lot more mental stamina than men do. We can be in an argument with someone for decades, so don't take us on unless it's super important. Basically, don't let a little disagreement turn into a fight. 8. Be Romantic - Yeah, what they do in the movies is cheesy and corny but we want it! Just rent any chick flick and do what one of the guys does in it. 9. Do Not Mention Any Of The Following - Age, weight, relationship with father, that she looks/acts like her mother, her outfit (unless you say it's nice), her roots (we're sensitive about this one), any sort of hair on her body for that matter, whether it's supposed to be there or not, her period (this is a big one guys, just stay away from it), another woman, your ex (unless you're saying we're prettier, smarter and/or better in bed, but again, better left unsaid), wrinkles, stretch marks, cellulite and/or spider veins (these are all things that affect women 10 fold to men), her girlfriends and lastly her vagina (we don't comment on your junk except to say it's fabulous so practice reciprocity.) 10. Dress To Impress - Actually, just dress like you care. We spend soooooo much time getting ready for a date, we want to know it's worth it. We feel awkward being super dressed up if you're in jeans and running shoes. Bonus, if you're dressed nicely we'll be super proud of you and want to show you off. 11. Be Spontaneous - Women like a man with many interests because it keeps things, well... interesting. Women love surprises and being kept on their toes. If you live your life through spontaneity and variance you're probably good in bed! 12. Be Decisive - There is nothing me and my girlfriends hate more than a man who is not decisive. If you're taking us out on a date, I know you want to please us, but please, if we ask you to pick a place, PICK A FUCKING PLACE! Don't waffle around and send us 80 texts saying, "um, IDK, what do you want to do?" It's annoying! Just don't do it! 13. Be a MAN - I get that men don't do a lot of the above things but this is what women want. However, the package women want all of these qualities to be wrapped up in is a MAN. Take charge, be the smart, funny guy we know you are. But remember even Gentlemen are Men! Jezebel posted a similar article 2 years ago and I'm amending their 4th and 5th rules to my list.
4.) Wipe the cum off her first before you wipe it off yourself. There's seriously nothing ruder than blowing a big wad all over a girl and then cleaning off your dick first before you go get her a towel or some tissues. Extra points for not getting any cum in her hair. 5.) Offer to do everything for her when her nails are wet. It sucks when a woman pays good money to get a manicure and then she has to get something out of her purse when her nails are still tacky. Help her out by lighting her cigarette, opening her can of soda, or wiping after she pees.
]]> https://www.radioactivecookies.com/for-men-only-free-ways-to-get-laid/feed/ 1 479