{"id":802,"date":"2010-04-07T20:12:28","date_gmt":"2010-04-08T00:12:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/radioactivecookies.wordpress.com\/?p=802"},"modified":"2016-03-18T16:23:09","modified_gmt":"2016-03-18T20:23:09","slug":"why-it-sucks-to-be-a-lesbian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/why-it-sucks-to-be-a-lesbian\/","title":{"rendered":"Why It Sucks To Be A\u00a0Lesbian"},"content":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>\n\nIf you know me ask me to sing a song for you I wrote about lesbians. It's both tender and hysterical!\n\n1. Syncing Up<\/strong> - It's hard enough being around people when you're perioding, it's even harder being around your boyfriend, it's even fucking harder when your boyfriend is actually a woman who also has her period! Kudos to the ladies who can do it, but if it were me, I'd just quote The L Word<\/em> 24\/7, \"I hope you bleed soon!\"\n\n2. Porn Lesbians vs. Real Lesbians <\/strong>- Porn fantasticizes (yeah I said fantasticizes!) lesbian sex. They usually hire (broke) straight women to do the nasty and the result is something less than accurate.\n\n3. Butch<\/strong> - As all gay men are not Queens, not all lesbians are butch, man-hating, Birkenstock wearing dykes.\n\nDive for 4 more reasons it sucks to go down!\n\n\n\n4. The Real L Word<\/strong> - Television didn't stop at ruining gay male culture; now that it sees it has a market with lesbians it's going to exploit them too! TV is swinging more and more lesbian orientation.\n\n5. Artificial Insemination Is Expensive<\/strong> - Yes it might be easier for a lesbian couple to have a child, what the all the uteri (or uteruses, Wikipedia says both plural forms are correct.) However artificial insemination is expensive and not likely to take.\n\n6. Straight Women<\/strong> - Whether it's a straight actress trying to play a lesbian, ie Julianne Moore & Amanda Seyfried in Chloe<\/em>; or it's drunk girls thinking it's funny to make out with one another, straight women are fucking PITAs! (In case you didn't get that, it's \"pain in the ass.\") A lot of straight women don't get that \"gay for the stay\" isn't a sexuality.\n\n7. Lindsay Lohan<\/strong> - No woman does a census bracket more harm than Lindsay Lohan. Going from adorable red-headed child star to flaming fire-crotch, having super-lesbian battles with Samantha Ronson was something no one saw coming. When will it end?!\n\n\"\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you know me ask me to sing a song for you I wrote about lesbians. It’s both tender and hysterical! 1. Syncing Up – It’s hard enough being around people when you’re perioding, it’s even harder being around your boyfriend, it’s even fucking harder when your boyfriend is actually a woman who also has … Continue reading Why It Sucks To Be A\u00a0Lesbian<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[164,310,629,638,822,848,1025,1219],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7mvJg-cW","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":803,"url":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/why-it-rocks-to-be-a-lesbian\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":0},"title":"Why It Rocks To Be A\u00a0Lesbian","date":"April 7, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"[Insert joke implying lesbians are good at sports and stronger than men.] 1. Low Risk Situation - Most STDs are not a problem for lesbians. And pregnancy is impossible. Basically being a lesbian is like investing in low risk stocks. Not a lot of bad is going to happen to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Sex Ed"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/lesbian-012.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":799,"url":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/the-real-l-word-more-pussy-than-one-show-can-handle\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":1},"title":"THE REAL L WORD: More Pussy Than One Show Can Handle","date":"April 7, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"This isn't exploiting and oversexualizing lesbians at all! It's out with the old and in with the reality! Showtime is following up their hit, yet corrupted, series with a reality twist in The Real L Word. I'm guessing it's going to be a bunch of lipstick lesbians trotting around Los\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Film & TV"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/T2M52kpfXb4\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":808,"url":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/why-it-rocks-to-be-gay\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":2},"title":"Why It Rocks To Be\u00a0Gay","date":"April 7, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Since my Why It Sucks\/Rocks Posts did so well and I've been neglecting the Uranians I'm extending the series! Yay another season, even if it is out of it's prime and needs to be put out of it's misery, I'm looking at you Grey's Anatomy! 1. You're A Trendy Accessory\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Sex Ed"","img":{"alt_text":"Barney Stinson approves this message.","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/nph1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1274,"url":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/beyonce-why-dont-you-love-me-music-video-premiere\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":3},"title":"Beyonce \"Why Don't You Love Me\" Music Video Premiere","date":"May 4, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"In Beyonce's latest music video she spends almost 5 whole minutes whining about the fact that her boyfriend doesn't love her anymore. She gets dolled up, does household chores and bakes for her man (all failed attempts by the way.) Maybe if bitch didn't light her cookies on fire she\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Film & TV"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/picture-52.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1418,"url":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/keha-your-love-is-my-drug-music-video\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":4},"title":"Ke$ha \"Your Love Is My Drug\" Music Video","date":"May 13, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"\"This is the best mistake we've ever made,\" my friend said to me immediately following us watching this music video. And indeed it was! The new Ke$ha music video tells the tale of a girl and her hippie boyfriend tripping in the desert... only the drugs they're taking isn't acid,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Film & TV"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/QR_qa3Ohwls\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1401,"url":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/happy-milf-day-teen-moms\/","url_meta":{"origin":802,"position":5},"title":"HAPPY MILF DAY: Teen Moms","date":"May 9, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=i27N6b6EGpE&feature=fvw Bristol Palin Age at Pregnancy: 17 The daughter of would-be Vice President got knocked up during campaigning. Her baby daddy was excluded from the baby's life and so he posed for Playgirl. Jaimie Lynn Spears Age at Pregnancy: 16 The younger sister to Britney Spears and star of Zoe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Sex Ed"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/solange-knowles2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/802"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=802"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/802\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3833,"href":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/802\/revisions\/3833"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=802"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=802"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.radioactivecookies.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=802"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}