summary – RADIOACTIVE COOKIES

Practical Will: Measure for Measure

MissBleecker — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:30:41 +0000

Measure for Measure a Comedy by William Shakespeare

Fun Fact: Measure for Measure is the only Shakespearean play to have a thematic title. Can you find the theme? Here goes!

The Duke "goes on vacation" but is really disguised as a friar so he can observe the goings on in his hood. He leaves wet blanket Angelo in charge, who isn't getting any, so he decides no one else can get any either. He arrests Claudio for knocking up Juliet out of wedlock, even though they are totally in love and ready to tie the knot, to which Angelo says, "Too bad, they should have thought of that before they did the nasty. " Isabella, Claudio's virgin sister, pleads with Angelo to release her brother. Angelo agrees, but only if Isabella gives him a little something-something in return (hint: her virginity.) Isabella refuses and goes to her brother, thinking the request will appall him and that he would rather man up and take the death penalty than let his lil' sis be tarnished. But Claudio is all like, "Well you could do me this solid... death is pretty scary when all you have to do is whore yourself... and it would be whoring yourself for good, which isn't really a sin."

Isabella isn't prepared to take one for the team and Angelo threatens that if she tells anyone about his offer, he will ruin her reputation. So what's a girl to do? Good thing The Duke is still in town and has heard all about her dilemma. So The Duke and Isabella, along with Angelo's ex, Mariana (they were engaged but he dumped her right before the wedding) plot to entrap Angelo with his own anti-sex laws. They basically pull what, in sex terms, is called "The Houdini." Angelo thinks he's going to bone Isabella, but actually bones Mariana in disguise. Just before the big reveal scene, The Duke decides to tell Isabella her brother has already been executed, because he just can't wait to see the look on her face when she finds out her brother is alive, oh burn! Angelo is called out for breaking his own pre-marital sex laws and it is revealed he secretly banged his ex, and is now forced to marry her. So I guess things work out for Mariana after all? But Isabella is still bummed about her brother being dead, until wait, it's revealed he's alive! Isabella is so happy she doesn't even question the mix-up and accepts The Duke's marriage proposal, because after a lot of serious personal and political meddling, who doesn't love a happy ending?!

Recap of Thrones 6.1 – The Red Woman

MissBleecker — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:15:42 +0000

If you're not caught up on season 5, watch HBO's previously on above, or read my GoT Round-Up post.

Enter at your own risk - SPOILERS OBVS

EPISODE STATS

Death Toll: 2 onscreen deaths (Doran and Trystane Martell), and 2 confirmed deaths (Jon Snow and Miranda) Reveals: Melisandre's necklace makes her appear young and beautiful, she is actually an old hag. Biggest Climb: Sansa finally escaped from the Bolton's and has a new protector in Brienne and a running crew to boot. Lowest Fall: Khaleesi went from Dothraki sex slave to being banished to live out her days with the rest of the Khals' widows.

WESTEROS

The Wall Jon Snow's body, Ghost, Melisandre, Davos, Thorne, Night's Watch What We Know: Season 6 gets right into the thick of it. Davos discovers Jon's body and he and a few of Jon's Night's Watch boys lock themselves in a room with Melisandre and Ghost. Thorne admits to killing Jon and is like, "So?" But the Goodies left in the Night's Watch aren't having any of it, so they send one of their own out to round up some Wildlings to overthrow Thorne's new hold over the Crows. Meanwhile Davos is vouching hard for Melisandre to do something magical with Jon, but all we get from her is another unnecessary boob scene, which reveals her favorite accessory, is actually a source of her powers. She removes the choker every night to tuck herself into bed, as nude old Rose from Titanic. Also, who gave her her own room and undisturbed alone time during this stand-off? Predictions: It's been rumored that Thoros, the red priest we met in season 3 who can bring people back from the dead, is going to be making an appearance in season 6. Perhaps he's going to help Melisandre bring Jon back? One can only hope. Winterfell Sansa, Theon, The Boltons, Brienne, Pod What We Know: Ramsay mourns the loss of his KMD (kennel-master's-daughter) and then feeds her to the dogs she loved so much, talk about an old-fashioned romantic. He's getting major pressure from Roose to get his shit together, because wifey is pregnant with a boy (because of all the sonogram machines they had in the North.) Meanwhile, Bolton Bannermen are on the hunt for runaways Sansa and Theon, who decide to take a little nap, because running for your life is really tiring. They are caught and all hope appears lost until Brienne and Pod come riding in swords-a-swinging. They defeat the Bolton Boys and form a new super-group. Predictions: It's been a long time since anything positive has happened to any of these characters, so fans should revel in this moment. HBO released the title of Episode 3, it's called "Oathbreaker." This could be foreshadowing something bad happening to/involving Brienne, who's sword is named "Oathkeeper."

King's Landing

Cersei, Jaime What We Know: Cersei sees Jaime's ship returning and runs to the bay to meet him, only to discover Myrcella is returning home under a golden shroud, kind of like what the witch told her in the opening scene of season 5. Predictions: In the next on, we see Cersei and Jaime gearing up for an all out battle with the Faith Militant. While Jaime seems to be getting his own hands dirty, Cersei is going to be employing Franken-Mountain in the upcoming episode. Margaery, Sparrow, Septa What We Know: Septa continues to seek a confession from Margaery, who refuses to admit anything. Sparrow comes into Marg's cell to reason with her, but she's only concerned with her brother's well-being. Predictions: Marg and Loras are going to have to do compromise with the Seven to save their skins, since the Tyrells and King Tommen seem to be MIA in the matter. Marg, who is popular with the public, might repent and become their new spokesperson, or at least make the offer to manipulate her way out of prison. Dorne Ellaria, The Sand Snakes, Doran, Trystane What We Know: Ellaria is walking around the water gardens with Prince Doran (he can walk now?) when he gets news of Myrcella's murder. So Ellaria and her daughter shank Doran and his one loyal bodyguard, while the Sand Snakes take care of Trystane. Predictions: So this means there are no more legitimate Martells left, only Oberyn's bastard daughters, the Sand Snakes. It appears as if Dorne is now a female run nation, which is kind of cool, I guess... But it also probably means they are going to wage war with the Lannisters. ESSOS The Grass Sea (Dothraki Territory) Daenerys What We Know: Dany is taken prisoner by the Dothraki hoard. I guess they don't know who she is, because all they can talk about is whether the carpet matches the drapes. She is brought to the new Khal Moro, who's wives want her head. Khal is like, "bitches be jealous, but I am going to lie with you." Khaleesi gives her whole name-title schpeel, which doesn't work. Then she remembers the loophole to Dothraki rape, a Khal's widdow is off limits. As soon as she name-drops Drogo, Moro releases her. But when she asks to be taken back to Meereen, Moro is like, "No, no, you're going to Vaes Dothrak, that's where we send all the Khal's widows." Predictions: Things are not looking too good for Khaleesi, she just went from slave to being banished to a land of Dothraki Widows. Maybe she'll add a new title to her endless name? Warden of Widows? We see Drogon flying over the Dothraki hoard, so it mustn't be long before her #1 dragon son comes to momma's rescue, right? Seriously, there were no dragons in episode 1, can we get some scales please?! Jorah, Daario What We Know: We catch up with Jorah and Daario where we last saw Dany, in the middle of an unknown field somewhere in The Grass Sea. They catch onto the fact that she's been taken by the Dothraki and go on their way in rescuing her, but not before Jorah takes a moment to pick at his Greyscale. Seriously, the more you pick a scab the worse the scar, he needs to leave that alone, and definitely stop touching everyone. Predictions: It's only a matter of time before Daario discovers Jorah's Greyscale. Has anyone tried cutting off the infected limb? It seems like the first thing to try, maybe he's waiting until it spreads to the elbow? We see helmeted knights with a three-headed dragon emblem in the season 6 teasers murdering some dudes, it's probably safe to say Daario and Jorah are going to run into some unwanted company soon. Meereen Tyrion, Varys What We Know: Tyrion and Varys dress like commoners so they can explore the hard streets of Meereen. They see some political graffiti comparing Dany to the Masters, meaning our favorite Mhysa is sliding in popularity since executing one of her free people. Then there's a big commotion, which Varys and Tyrion have to run towards. It turns out that someone, probably the Masters/Sons of the Harpy, have set all of the ships on fire and now no one can leave Meereen, bummer. Predictions: While Varys and Tyrion are walking through an empty square we see someone watching them, now who could that be? In HBO's 6.2 description they basically say Tyrion has to make his own good news. Is it possible that Tyrion could release the dragons tied up in the Meereen palace basement? Braavos Arya, The Waif What We Know: Arya is now a blind beggar in Braavos, say that 5 times fast! She's really down on herself for fucking up so hard with the Many Faced God, but apparently things aren't over for her yet. The Waif (didn't know that was her name until I looked it up) goes to Arya, tosses her a stick and beats her silly until she decides she's had enough, and leaves, promising to return the next day. Predictions: The Waif is obviously training Arya to be a blind assassin. If Arya picks things up she'll basically become the Daredevil of Braavos, but I guess she'd still need to go to law school...

NEXT ON GoT

SOURCES | 1 | 2 |

Practical Will: Coriolanus

MissBleecker — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:00:32 +0000

The Tragedy of Coriolanus a Tragedy by William Shakespeare

Coriolanus, or as he's referred to early on in the play, Caius Martius, is a Roman war hero, who is also a bit of a stuck-up, arrogant snob. The people of Rome are rioting because the upper-crust refuses to give them corn, Cori puts all the Plebeians on blast for being greedy for wanting food. Understandably so, everyone in Rome hates Cori because of his tude, they're close to banishing him altogether, but they first need him to win one more battle. So they send big-bad Cori to Coriloi (hint: this is where he gets his new aka) to fight the evil Volscians (not related to Star Trek). Only one big snafu occurs and Cori is locked inside the city alone. He shows just how badass he is, by single-handedly killing all the evil Volscians, for which the city gives him the new moniker, Coriolanus.

Cori returns to Rome and is now super popular, the Plebeians forget all about how much of a dick he was before. So he decides to run for office, but in order to do so, he needs to humbly ask for votes, which he's really not good at. When Cori loses the election he is pissed, he's like, "I cannot believe those gross poor people didn't vote for spectacular me. I mean I am the best, I would vote for me!" So he teams up with his arch nemesis Aufidius to teach Rome a lesson for not making him their leader. All of Cori's female relatives come up on him like, "Son, you're overreacting just a tad, maybe don't burn your hometown to the ground just because you weren't voted most popular." After some sweet talk, he agrees and returns to Rome without his army. But Aufi is even more his enemy now for backing out of their deal and insights another riot, which results in Cori being brutally stabbed by dozens of Plebs in the street. Almost immediately after his death, everyone decides, "Oh actually Cori wasn't that bad a guy, he did risk his life for everyone a bunch. He was just kinda into himself." And so Cori is basically martyred and remembered as a war hero, instead of the greedy, classist he was.

Practical Will: Love’s Labour’s Lost

MissBleecker — Fri, 08 Apr 2016 18:29:51 +0000

Love's Labour's Lost A Comedy by William Shakespeare

Honestly I was lost most of the time. There's not much story to this one, it's all in the wordplay. So much of this play is written in verse and Shakespeare takes a lot of time with the characters' dialogue. What's really interesting about the last of Shakespeare's comedies is that it's also one of the only stories that can be completely attributed to Shakespeare. Not many people know this, but Shakespeare was more of an adapter than an original story-teller. Lost in particular cannot be traced back to any earlier work, rather, Shakespeare based it off two distinct classes of Elizabethan time, basic country bumpkins and the royals. Which basically accounts for his audience, both English commoners along with Queen Elizabeth attended the Christmas production of Lost.

What I was able to surmise from the play is not much, but here goes. The King of Navarre and his royal dudes decide to take an oath of celibacy for 3 years, in order to improve their studies. But the Princess of France is in town with her girls and word is they are all DTF, putting the royal dudes in a pickle. Meanwhile, in the country, all the simple bros are into this one dairy wench, Jaquenetta (I know, great name!) I really can't keep any other names straight, so one dude writes her a love letter, meanwhile another dude writes one of the royal ladies a love letter, and of course, they get mixed up. Fast forward, the men go to the women disguised as Russians (for some reason) but someone has already tipped off the gals and they also exchange their identities. Then there's a play within the play, which is broken up by news that the Princess' father, King of France has died and she must return. Navarre pleads with the Princess to stay with him, but she's like, "Yo I got a funeral to plan. Why don't you take that vow of celibacy again, but for a year? If you're still standing after that, we can talk." And then she peaces. Then there's a song about a year passing, the end.

Practical Will: Henry VIII

MissBleecker — Fri, 25 Mar 2016 19:25:10 +0000

The Life of King Henry VIII a History by William Shakespeare

So Henry's first wife, Katharine, uber Catholic Spaniard, thinks her 20-year marriage to the King is all honky-dory. Until Henry goes to a party at one of his boy's cribs where he meets this hottie, Anne, who's playing hard to get. So Henry is too busy flirting to realize the political shit-storm circling overhead. One of Henry's boys says he overheard Buckingham say that he should have been next in line for the throne. Now he's not all that far off in saying this, do you all remember Richard III? That evil douchebag? Well the guy that rebelled against him was Buck's dad, Buck Sr. So Buck Sr. defeats Rich and instates Henry VII in his place, who executes Buck Sr. without a trial. So when Buck Jr. is lead to the chopping block, he can't help but feel a sense of history repeating itself.

Henry is still sprung on Anne and offers her a fancy title, a sweet-ass pad and an allowance. She declines, under the guise of pretending to be Kate's friend. But one of her girls is like, "Dig girl, dig!" Meanwhile, Kate is hearing all these rumors about a divorce and is all like, "Um Catholic's can't get divorced." But everyone tries to convince her to go along with an annulment so she can remain on Henry's good side. Seeing no other options, since he's the fucking King, she agrees. And so Henry and Anne are married in a very long scene, followed by an even longer coronation scene. After the wedding we check back in with Kate, she's dying, of course, and uses her Catholic guilt to convince Henry to care for their daughter, who will turn out to be Queen Mary I, more commonly known as Bloody Mary. Thanks for the brunch beverage girl!

We jump forward to the birth of Henry and Anne's child, and surprise, it's another girl! Not what Henry wanted, even though she turns out to be Queen Elizabeth I, or the single best English Monarch ever! The play ends with another long boring scene, the christening of Liz. Then a prologue guy comes on stage and begs the audience to applaud, because for being such an interesting real story, this is one of Will's more boring plays.