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Recap of Thrones 6.2 – Home

MissBleecker — Sat, 07 May 2016 15:00:57 +0000

Are you ready for the journey HOME?

EPISODE STATS

Death Toll: 5 onscreen deaths (Lady Bolton, Baby Bolton, Roose Bolton, Balon Greyjoy, Shame Flasher), 1 confirmed death (Myrcella) Reveals: 1) Jon Snow is actually alive, duh! 2) Balon has a brother who was thought lost at sea, but is back in the Iron Islands with a vengeance. Biggest Climb: 1) Jon Snow coming back from the dead is a pretty big improvement considering. 2) Honorable Mention: Ramsay Bolton murdered his entire family, making him the undisputed Warden of the North. Lowest Fall: 1) Cersei got shut out of her own daughter's funeral by baby-soft Tommen. 2) Yara got taken down a peg after Balon's death, she probably won't be ruling the Iron Borne any time soon.

WESTEROS

Beyond The Wall

Bran, Three-Eyed Raven, Hodor, Meera, Random Tree Woman What We Know: We open up with one of Bran's warg visions, shared with the Three-Eyed Raven. This is the first, in a series of flashbacks we will be seeing revolving around Ned's story-line. We see a young Ned and Benjen sparring, when sister Lyanna trots in showing off her horse skills. We also meet a young Hodor, then named Wylis, who talks and seems very smitten with Lyanna. The Raven warns Bran that they cannot stay in the flashback long or else... and they return to the safety of the tree, where some random creature woman is just watching them memory trip. Bran tries to get through to Hodor with this new information, but of course, all Hodor can reply with is, "Hodor". Then Bran casually lounges in the snow to tell Meera, who's just sitting waiting to be killed, that she should probably get her ass back inside the tree. Predictions: This is the first point in my recaps that I will admit I was wrong about something, don't let it get to your heads people. I originally predicted that the knights in Targaryen armor in the promos were Jorah and Daario... well the next on, coupled with the flashbacks, suggests that these are Targaryen knights who Ned fought in the past. But why would he fight the Targaryens? Well it might have something to do with the Mad King kidnapping, raping and murdering his sister Lyanna. Will we finally learn that Jon Snow is the product of her capture? One theory on the Hodor/Wylis character is that he might have possibly been injured in battle, perhaps defending his crush, Lyanna. Another possible theory is that Wylis was gifted, like Bran, but warged too long and got stuck, possibly in the body of a horse, which is why he's so comfortable being saddled and ridden by Bran. All of this, however, does open up a bigger question, how old is Hodor? Like older than Ned apparently... maybe he really does have Giant's blood.

The Wall

Jon Snow’s body, Ghost, Melisandre, Davos, Thorne, Night’s Watch, Wildlings What We Know: Melisandre, Davos and a couple good Night's Watch are still locked in this room with Jon Snow's dead body and a very protective Ghost. Thorne and the traitors are about to bust in, when the Wildlings take Castle Black and force the Night's Watch to surrender. Davos pleads with Melisandre to do some magic, but she's been feeling self-conscious ever since killing Shireen with no good outcome. But she tries anyway, and everyone knows a reanimation isn't complete without body washing and hair fondling. It appears as if her magic is all but gone and everyone leaves Jon's body with Ghost. But at the very end of the episode, Ghost perks up just before Jon takes a breath and opens his eyes, because no one saw this coming. Predictions: The promo shows Jon walking through a crowd of astonished Wildlings and Night's Watch, comparing him to a God. There are many options for Jon to pursue when he wakes, he can take revenge on those that killed him, re-instate himself as Lord Commander, or just peace out altogether because this is a tough job with no benefits. What's more interesting is to ponder what he saw, if anything, while he was dead. Does he now have a new understanding for the world, the White Walkers, and his place in everything?

Winterfell

Sansa, Theon, Brienne, Pod What We Know: Sansa, Theon, Brienne and Pod are all a happy gang of misfit toys on their way to The Wall. They have no idea that Jon has died, and subsequently come back to life. But Theon knows what would happen to him if he were to face him again. Sansa doesn't want to let Theon go, but he can't face the man he betrayed and lose what's left of his life, so he tells Sansa that he is going home. Predictions: With Balon now dead and Yara, a woman and apparently unfit to rule the Iron Islands, if Theon does indeed return to Pyke he would be next in line as heir. Sansa, on the other hand, has a great protector in Brienne, but we've also seen Bri's charges die horribly. And with Ramsay now having full control over the North, there's not much standing in his way of getting his wife back, since he knows where she is heading. If Sansa does get to The Wall before Ramsay gets her, it would be the first time she and Jon saw each other since season 1, and they both have A LOT to catch up on. Ramsay, Roose, Lady and Baby Bolton What We Know: Lady Bolton gives birth to a baby boy and Papa Roose is thrilled. Ramsay tries his best to fake happiness, and Roose tells him that Ramsay will always be his "first born", which Ramsay sees as the perfect moment to shank his daddy to death. He then sends for his New Mommy and Baby Bro and sicks his dogs on them, thus making him the only Bolton left and Warden of the North. Predictions: Ramsay must be stopped! He is perhaps even more evil and brattier than Joffrey, who at least didn't kill his own siblings and parents. Ramsay is legitimate and the only living Bolton, making him Warden of the North. The only thing to solidify his hold further, would be to put a baby in Sansa, who he will undoubtedly still be hunting for. We also know that in the upcoming episode description, Ramsay receives a "gift", could it be a once-again-captured Theon who left Sansa to return to Pyke?

The Iron Islands

Yara, Balon and Euron Greyjoy What We Know: Yara and Balon are having their typical Father/Daughter spat when Balon decides to retire for the night. Of course to get to his bedroom he has to walk on a treacherous swinging bridge, which I'm mostly impressed he can do at his age. However, on the bridge he meets a mysterious stranger, revealed to be his brother Euron, who was thought dead at sea. Euron is pissed about something and throws Balon to his death. Which is actually a good thing considering Balon is Westeros' Worst Father Runner Up, after Stannis of course. Predictions: No one knows Euron is back in Pyke, but I'm guessing they're about to. He is apparently one of the Greyjoys involved with an attempted coupe that led to Theon being a hostage of the Starks. Now that Balon is dead, Yara is set on finding her father's killer and ruling the Iron Borne, but Gandolf Greyjoy is like, "Hold up, you're a woman, we'll see about all that..." But something is telling me Yara isn't going to just lie down and take it. If Theon does return home, he and Yara can hook up and rule the Iron Islands together and band against crazy Uncle Euron.

King's Landing

Cersei, Franken-Mountain, Jaime, Tommen, Sparrow What We Know: Cersei is on her way to Myrcella's funeral when she is stopped by order of King Tommen, since when is he giving orders? Franken-Mountain looks as if he's ready to tear through all 20-something guards in the Queen Mother's way, but she puts him on a leash. He instead goes into town and smashes the head of the Shame Walk Flasher. So Cersei is locked up in the Castle while Jaime, Tommen and Sparrow measure their dicks, while standing over Myrcella's corpse. She also somehow got the eyeball rocks Trystane painted for her when he died? After all the drama at the funeral home, Tommen goes to his mother and tells her he's going to be a good little mama's boy from now on, which is all Cersei ever wanted. Predictions: Cersei better be careful, because that prophecy the witch foretold is awfully close to coming true. I don't see any universe where Tommen lives through the end of the season, I'm honestly surprised he's still alive, being by far the daftest Lannister, heck even Lancil has his own thing going on. I, for one, am excited to see some more skull-crushing from Franken-Mountain, who has not yet been properly utilized. And with the mounting (pun intended) tension between Sparrow and Jaime, expect a big showdown between the Crown and the Seven soon.

ESSOS

Meereen

Tyrion, Varys, Missandei, Grey Worm, Rhaegal and Viserion (Dragons) What We Know: Sorry lovelies, no Khaleesi this episode, but we did get DRAGONS! Hell Yeah! So I'll just go ahead and say it, "I was RIGHT!" Tyrion unchains Rhaegal and Viserion. He seems pretty nervous while doing so, but calms himself and the dragons, by telling them a bed time story about how he wanted a mini-dragon for a pet as a child, adorable. Predictions: Now that the dragons are unchained and are softening to Tyrion's touch, it's only a matter of time before he releases them into the wild to find Khaleesi, get a hold over Meereen and put the Sons of the Harpy in their place. Missandei tells Tyrion that she knew the dragons as babies and they never hurt her, but Tyrion doesn't know them at all, so why did they let him touch them? Well, maybe they do know him, so far my Tyrion Targaryen theory holds water, he's approached the dragons and they have accepted him, next step, saddle up and ride one of those scaly dogs!

Braavos

Arya, The Waif, Jacquen What We Know: Arya holds her stick, awaiting the return of The Waif and another beating. When The Waif returns, this time Arya is only semi-prepared, she's not able to land any good blows, but at least she doesn't get her ass kicked again. The Waif disappears and leaves Arya furiously flailing her stick around until it's caught by Jacquen. Jacquen asks her her name, to which she replies "No one." He offers her money, food, shelter, even her sight back if she admits she is "Arya," but she remains "No one," and is rewarded by being invited back into the House of Black and White. Predictions: We see Arya training hard in the House of Black and White with The Waif. Hopefully over the next few episodes we will see Arya becoming accustomed to her blindness and perhaps even using it to her advantage. Was Jacquen's offer of her sight just an empty gesture, or can her sight actually be restored? Short answer, it probably can, but probably won't because good things don't happen to the Starks... I mean "No one."

Practical Will: Measure for Measure

MissBleecker — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:30:41 +0000

Measure for Measure a Comedy by William Shakespeare

Fun Fact: Measure for Measure is the only Shakespearean play to have a thematic title. Can you find the theme? Here goes!

The Duke "goes on vacation" but is really disguised as a friar so he can observe the goings on in his hood. He leaves wet blanket Angelo in charge, who isn't getting any, so he decides no one else can get any either. He arrests Claudio for knocking up Juliet out of wedlock, even though they are totally in love and ready to tie the knot, to which Angelo says, "Too bad, they should have thought of that before they did the nasty. " Isabella, Claudio's virgin sister, pleads with Angelo to release her brother. Angelo agrees, but only if Isabella gives him a little something-something in return (hint: her virginity.) Isabella refuses and goes to her brother, thinking the request will appall him and that he would rather man up and take the death penalty than let his lil' sis be tarnished. But Claudio is all like, "Well you could do me this solid... death is pretty scary when all you have to do is whore yourself... and it would be whoring yourself for good, which isn't really a sin."

Isabella isn't prepared to take one for the team and Angelo threatens that if she tells anyone about his offer, he will ruin her reputation. So what's a girl to do? Good thing The Duke is still in town and has heard all about her dilemma. So The Duke and Isabella, along with Angelo's ex, Mariana (they were engaged but he dumped her right before the wedding) plot to entrap Angelo with his own anti-sex laws. They basically pull what, in sex terms, is called "The Houdini." Angelo thinks he's going to bone Isabella, but actually bones Mariana in disguise. Just before the big reveal scene, The Duke decides to tell Isabella her brother has already been executed, because he just can't wait to see the look on her face when she finds out her brother is alive, oh burn! Angelo is called out for breaking his own pre-marital sex laws and it is revealed he secretly banged his ex, and is now forced to marry her. So I guess things work out for Mariana after all? But Isabella is still bummed about her brother being dead, until wait, it's revealed he's alive! Isabella is so happy she doesn't even question the mix-up and accepts The Duke's marriage proposal, because after a lot of serious personal and political meddling, who doesn't love a happy ending?!

Recap of Thrones 6.1 – The Red Woman

MissBleecker — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:15:42 +0000

If you're not caught up on season 5, watch HBO's previously on above, or read my GoT Round-Up post.

Enter at your own risk - SPOILERS OBVS

EPISODE STATS

Death Toll: 2 onscreen deaths (Doran and Trystane Martell), and 2 confirmed deaths (Jon Snow and Miranda) Reveals: Melisandre's necklace makes her appear young and beautiful, she is actually an old hag. Biggest Climb: Sansa finally escaped from the Bolton's and has a new protector in Brienne and a running crew to boot. Lowest Fall: Khaleesi went from Dothraki sex slave to being banished to live out her days with the rest of the Khals' widows.

WESTEROS

The Wall Jon Snow's body, Ghost, Melisandre, Davos, Thorne, Night's Watch What We Know: Season 6 gets right into the thick of it. Davos discovers Jon's body and he and a few of Jon's Night's Watch boys lock themselves in a room with Melisandre and Ghost. Thorne admits to killing Jon and is like, "So?" But the Goodies left in the Night's Watch aren't having any of it, so they send one of their own out to round up some Wildlings to overthrow Thorne's new hold over the Crows. Meanwhile Davos is vouching hard for Melisandre to do something magical with Jon, but all we get from her is another unnecessary boob scene, which reveals her favorite accessory, is actually a source of her powers. She removes the choker every night to tuck herself into bed, as nude old Rose from Titanic. Also, who gave her her own room and undisturbed alone time during this stand-off? Predictions: It's been rumored that Thoros, the red priest we met in season 3 who can bring people back from the dead, is going to be making an appearance in season 6. Perhaps he's going to help Melisandre bring Jon back? One can only hope. Winterfell Sansa, Theon, The Boltons, Brienne, Pod What We Know: Ramsay mourns the loss of his KMD (kennel-master's-daughter) and then feeds her to the dogs she loved so much, talk about an old-fashioned romantic. He's getting major pressure from Roose to get his shit together, because wifey is pregnant with a boy (because of all the sonogram machines they had in the North.) Meanwhile, Bolton Bannermen are on the hunt for runaways Sansa and Theon, who decide to take a little nap, because running for your life is really tiring. They are caught and all hope appears lost until Brienne and Pod come riding in swords-a-swinging. They defeat the Bolton Boys and form a new super-group. Predictions: It's been a long time since anything positive has happened to any of these characters, so fans should revel in this moment. HBO released the title of Episode 3, it's called "Oathbreaker." This could be foreshadowing something bad happening to/involving Brienne, who's sword is named "Oathkeeper."

King's Landing

Cersei, Jaime What We Know: Cersei sees Jaime's ship returning and runs to the bay to meet him, only to discover Myrcella is returning home under a golden shroud, kind of like what the witch told her in the opening scene of season 5. Predictions: In the next on, we see Cersei and Jaime gearing up for an all out battle with the Faith Militant. While Jaime seems to be getting his own hands dirty, Cersei is going to be employing Franken-Mountain in the upcoming episode. Margaery, Sparrow, Septa What We Know: Septa continues to seek a confession from Margaery, who refuses to admit anything. Sparrow comes into Marg's cell to reason with her, but she's only concerned with her brother's well-being. Predictions: Marg and Loras are going to have to do compromise with the Seven to save their skins, since the Tyrells and King Tommen seem to be MIA in the matter. Marg, who is popular with the public, might repent and become their new spokesperson, or at least make the offer to manipulate her way out of prison. Dorne Ellaria, The Sand Snakes, Doran, Trystane What We Know: Ellaria is walking around the water gardens with Prince Doran (he can walk now?) when he gets news of Myrcella's murder. So Ellaria and her daughter shank Doran and his one loyal bodyguard, while the Sand Snakes take care of Trystane. Predictions: So this means there are no more legitimate Martells left, only Oberyn's bastard daughters, the Sand Snakes. It appears as if Dorne is now a female run nation, which is kind of cool, I guess... But it also probably means they are going to wage war with the Lannisters. ESSOS The Grass Sea (Dothraki Territory) Daenerys What We Know: Dany is taken prisoner by the Dothraki hoard. I guess they don't know who she is, because all they can talk about is whether the carpet matches the drapes. She is brought to the new Khal Moro, who's wives want her head. Khal is like, "bitches be jealous, but I am going to lie with you." Khaleesi gives her whole name-title schpeel, which doesn't work. Then she remembers the loophole to Dothraki rape, a Khal's widdow is off limits. As soon as she name-drops Drogo, Moro releases her. But when she asks to be taken back to Meereen, Moro is like, "No, no, you're going to Vaes Dothrak, that's where we send all the Khal's widows." Predictions: Things are not looking too good for Khaleesi, she just went from slave to being banished to a land of Dothraki Widows. Maybe she'll add a new title to her endless name? Warden of Widows? We see Drogon flying over the Dothraki hoard, so it mustn't be long before her #1 dragon son comes to momma's rescue, right? Seriously, there were no dragons in episode 1, can we get some scales please?! Jorah, Daario What We Know: We catch up with Jorah and Daario where we last saw Dany, in the middle of an unknown field somewhere in The Grass Sea. They catch onto the fact that she's been taken by the Dothraki and go on their way in rescuing her, but not before Jorah takes a moment to pick at his Greyscale. Seriously, the more you pick a scab the worse the scar, he needs to leave that alone, and definitely stop touching everyone. Predictions: It's only a matter of time before Daario discovers Jorah's Greyscale. Has anyone tried cutting off the infected limb? It seems like the first thing to try, maybe he's waiting until it spreads to the elbow? We see helmeted knights with a three-headed dragon emblem in the season 6 teasers murdering some dudes, it's probably safe to say Daario and Jorah are going to run into some unwanted company soon. Meereen Tyrion, Varys What We Know: Tyrion and Varys dress like commoners so they can explore the hard streets of Meereen. They see some political graffiti comparing Dany to the Masters, meaning our favorite Mhysa is sliding in popularity since executing one of her free people. Then there's a big commotion, which Varys and Tyrion have to run towards. It turns out that someone, probably the Masters/Sons of the Harpy, have set all of the ships on fire and now no one can leave Meereen, bummer. Predictions: While Varys and Tyrion are walking through an empty square we see someone watching them, now who could that be? In HBO's 6.2 description they basically say Tyrion has to make his own good news. Is it possible that Tyrion could release the dragons tied up in the Meereen palace basement? Braavos Arya, The Waif What We Know: Arya is now a blind beggar in Braavos, say that 5 times fast! She's really down on herself for fucking up so hard with the Many Faced God, but apparently things aren't over for her yet. The Waif (didn't know that was her name until I looked it up) goes to Arya, tosses her a stick and beats her silly until she decides she's had enough, and leaves, promising to return the next day. Predictions: The Waif is obviously training Arya to be a blind assassin. If Arya picks things up she'll basically become the Daredevil of Braavos, but I guess she'd still need to go to law school...

NEXT ON GoT

SOURCES | 1 | 2 |

Practical Will: Coriolanus

MissBleecker — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:00:32 +0000

The Tragedy of Coriolanus a Tragedy by William Shakespeare

Coriolanus, or as he's referred to early on in the play, Caius Martius, is a Roman war hero, who is also a bit of a stuck-up, arrogant snob. The people of Rome are rioting because the upper-crust refuses to give them corn, Cori puts all the Plebeians on blast for being greedy for wanting food. Understandably so, everyone in Rome hates Cori because of his tude, they're close to banishing him altogether, but they first need him to win one more battle. So they send big-bad Cori to Coriloi (hint: this is where he gets his new aka) to fight the evil Volscians (not related to Star Trek). Only one big snafu occurs and Cori is locked inside the city alone. He shows just how badass he is, by single-handedly killing all the evil Volscians, for which the city gives him the new moniker, Coriolanus.

Cori returns to Rome and is now super popular, the Plebeians forget all about how much of a dick he was before. So he decides to run for office, but in order to do so, he needs to humbly ask for votes, which he's really not good at. When Cori loses the election he is pissed, he's like, "I cannot believe those gross poor people didn't vote for spectacular me. I mean I am the best, I would vote for me!" So he teams up with his arch nemesis Aufidius to teach Rome a lesson for not making him their leader. All of Cori's female relatives come up on him like, "Son, you're overreacting just a tad, maybe don't burn your hometown to the ground just because you weren't voted most popular." After some sweet talk, he agrees and returns to Rome without his army. But Aufi is even more his enemy now for backing out of their deal and insights another riot, which results in Cori being brutally stabbed by dozens of Plebs in the street. Almost immediately after his death, everyone decides, "Oh actually Cori wasn't that bad a guy, he did risk his life for everyone a bunch. He was just kinda into himself." And so Cori is basically martyred and remembered as a war hero, instead of the greedy, classist he was.

Game of Thrones: Pre-Premiere Round-Up

MissBleecker — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 13:00:44 +0000

Game of Thrones Season 6 premieres on Sunday, April 24th at 9pm EST.

It's spring time and that can only mean one thing... winter is coming.

Ah yes, the long awaited season 6 of Game of Thrones will soon grace us with its presence! A time when both book lovers and TV fanatics can gather round and debate who wore it best. Only difference with season 6 is those darn book readers have nothing up on the TV lovers, the HBO series (with season 6) will officially surpass the literary timeline, meaning no more spoilers from those pesky bookworms! So now that we're starting fresh, I decided to make GoT Season 6 my newest recap series.

Now I know a lot of you can barely keep all of these characters straight, let alone their relation to one another and the GoT universe, so here I've made for you a handy-dandy round-up of where we left off with each major story-line at the end of season 5, and with all the material HBO has released on season 6 thus far, predictions of where the new season is going. Now keep in mind, I am a fan of the TV series, I have not read any of the books, I tried once but George (Rest and Relaxation) Martin just gets way too descriptive with the feasts and I got lost. But it doesn't matter, the best thing is, there's no one that has read ahead of me to tell me I'm wrong! So for now, the possibilities are all in my favor to be 100% accurate in my predictions, though we know Thrones always throws us for a tailspin once the fans think they're onto the right theory.

I digress, anyway... to make sense of the multitude of characters, locations and overlapping timelines I've broken down my round-up into region (Westeros and Essos), further broken down by sub-region and character group (we all need our squads), and then I included separate categories for characters that are missing from season 6 teases and those that are (presumed) dead. I give you, Round-up of Thrones!