The Life of King Henry VIII a History by William Shakespeare

So Henry's first wife, Katharine, uber Catholic Spaniard, thinks her 20-year marriage to the King is all honky-dory. Until Henry goes to a party at one of his boy's cribs where he meets this hottie, Anne, who's playing hard to get. So Henry is too busy flirting to realize the political shit-storm circling overhead. One of Henry's boys says he overheard Buckingham say that he should have been next in line for the throne. Now he's not all that far off in saying this, do you all remember Richard III? That evil douchebag? Well the guy that rebelled against him was Buck's dad, Buck Sr. So Buck Sr. defeats Rich and instates Henry VII in his place, who executes Buck Sr. without a trial. So when Buck Jr. is lead to the chopping block, he can't help but feel a sense of history repeating itself.

Henry is still sprung on Anne and offers her a fancy title, a sweet-ass pad and an allowance. She declines, under the guise of pretending to be Kate's friend. But one of her girls is like, "Dig girl, dig!" Meanwhile, Kate is hearing all these rumors about a divorce and is all like, "Um Catholic's can't get divorced." But everyone tries to convince her to go along with an annulment so she can remain on Henry's good side. Seeing no other options, since he's the fucking King, she agrees. And so Henry and Anne are married in a very long scene, followed by an even longer coronation scene. After the wedding we check back in with Kate, she's dying, of course, and uses her Catholic guilt to convince Henry to care for their daughter, who will turn out to be Queen Mary I, more commonly known as Bloody Mary. Thanks for the brunch beverage girl!

We jump forward to the birth of Henry and Anne's child, and surprise, it's another girl! Not what Henry wanted, even though she turns out to be Queen Elizabeth I, or the single best English Monarch ever! The play ends with another long boring scene, the christening of Liz. Then a prologue guy comes on stage and begs the audience to applaud, because for being such an interesting real story, this is one of Will's more boring plays.