The Tragedy of Timon of Athens a Tragedy by William Shakespeare

The classic riches to rags story. Timon is a rich politico in Athens, he's super popular because of his generally positive attitude and generosity. We open up the story at one of his off the chain feasts; the place is littered with food, booze and women. Timon's loyal servant, Flavius is like, "Dude, maybe you shouldn't be so loose with the purse-strings and charge a cover or something."  To which Timon replies, "I'm gonna make it rain up in here!" Then the bad news comes in the form of three debt collectors; Sallie Mae, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Flavius tells Timon that he doesn't have any money in the account to pay and all his land his already mortgaged, in Monopoly terms, he's bankrupt. But that still doesn't get good old Timon down, he sends his servants to all his rich boys to ask for a loan, but they each deny him. Timon is like, "Alright, okay, okay, okay. I see how it is." And so he invites them all over for one final feast. The feast is super awkward and when the "food" is brought out Timon reveals it's just dirty water and throws it in all his frenemies faces and leaves Athens.

Meanwhile, Alcibiades (an officer of the military) goes before the senate to plead for his boy who got a little hot and offed some guy in a bar fight. Alcibiades ends up annoying the senate and gets himself banished. But he's not having any of it so he rallies a couple of whores and his military boys just outside Athens and who should he run into, but none other than Timon. Timon is digging up some gold he had stashed outside town, Alcibiades is shocked that merry old Timon has now become a crotchety old hobo thanks to the same people that banished him and vows to get even. Timon tells him to fuck off and he does.

Word gets back to Athens that Alcibiades is planning an attack and everyone goes to Timon's cave to try and lure him back to Athens, since its been a total bummer not being able to go to his kick-ass parties anymore. Timon tells them all to hang themselves if they're so afraid and kindly fuck off. And so, Alcibiades marches with his army to the gates of Athens, the senators cave immediately and offer peace. Just as Alcibiades accepts their terms and they open the gates, a messenger comes with news of Timon's death. The poor fuck even made his own tombstone and wrote his own damn epitaph, how fucking sad is that? It basically said something like, "Fuck you all, you all hated me, don't mind my grave, just keep on walkin'." Alcibiades decides at the last minute to avenge Timon and marches into open Athens with his sword drawn.